Half a Second
by Chicago Firestarter
Summary: Kelly Severide meets resistance when he decides to fast track Peter Mills into squad, even from his best friend, Leslie Shay. Many trials and tribulations of Severide. LAST CHAPTER now up. Future Shay/Severide and a little Dawson/Casey.
1. Chapter 1

"Don't worry, Shay. Yes, my job is inherently dangerous, you already know this. But you also know I only surround myself with the best people. Now, is it time for you to shut up so we can eat," said Kelly with his trademark grin on his face.

"To clarify, I did not say I would shut up. I said I would shut up about THIS issue," said Shay with a pouty look on her face trying not to smile.

"Yeah I guess total silence would be way too much to ask for," laughed Kelly as Shay softly punched him in his arm. Kelly grabbed her around her shoulders and planted a kiss on her cheek. He hurried over to the stove, thankful that Dawson wanted to try out a new recipe on them. Kelly guessed it was a thank you for putting Mills on the fast track to squad. Well, he wasn't going to turn down her food. That girl could cook. He grabbed the kitchen towel and snapped it toward Shay's butt.

"Really, Kelly? Is it some sort of guy code that you have to be able to do that super mature towel trick?" asked Shay as she tried the same towel snap, failing miserably.

"Yep!" Kelly answered while shoveling a huge bite into his mouth.

"You're disgusting," laughed Shay rolling her eyes. Laughter could be heard from outside their apartment well into the night.

The next morning Severide barely had time to open up his newspaper when Cruz approached him.

"Lieutenant, do you have a minute?" Cruz asked nervously.

"Sure, what's up? asked Kelly a little irritated he was being interrupted before his paper and coffee ritual.

"In private, if you don't mind," Cruz requested knowing he was going to be treading on dangerous ground in a few seconds.

Kelly nodded towards the locker room and Cruz followed him. Kelly stopped in front of his locker and looked at Cruz waiting for him to begin.

"Don't take this the wrong way, lieutenant, but I was just wondering what Peter Mills has done to make him a candidate for squad so early in his career. Don't get me wrong, I like Pete, but he's been here, what, maybe half a second and now you are pushing him to join squad," said Cruz nervously hoping he hadn't just sealed his fate.

Jesus, not Cruz too, thought Kelly. "Cruz, is this your way of telling me you're interested in joining squad?" asked Kelly with more than a little sarcasm in his voice. "You have never said word one to me about joining squad."

"Instead of kissing your ass every day, I kind of thought my actions would speak louder. They would prove to you I was good enough for squad," Cruz said hoping he hadn't just cemented his job with truck forever.

"And I will repeat again that I had no idea you wanted to be on squad," said Kelly chuckling now. "You definitely have the balls to be on squad and no bullshit that save on Casey the other day was real hero stuff. Tell you what...get the class schedule and I'll tell you what classes to take."

"Thanks lieutenant, I hope I haven't overstepped, but a lot of us were wondering why the rush on Mills. Uh, thanks again and I'll get back to you with the course catalog," finished Cruz making a quick exit.

So everyone was wondering why the rush on Mills. Great. Just what he needed - an us versus them with squad and truck. First, Shay, then Cruz and now Everyone. This day was just getting better and better.

Kelly made his way to the kitchen and caught the tail end of a conversation between Otis and Mouch. "I get that Mills is in great shape and a quick learner, but I barely get to drive the truck and he's already joining squad," complained Otis.

"Hey, all you assholes listen up," yelled Severide. "Mills is not on squad. He did not replace me as lieutenant, and he won't be chief next week! He had an interest in squad, talked to me about it, and I am helping him start the process. Any questions? Okay, good! Now quit gossiping like a bunch of old women and do something productive. That truck looks like shit. We can start there!" Severide watched as most of the men scattered to make themselves look busy.

"Whew, looks like someone needs a nap," whispered Dawson into Shay's ear. They both giggled as Kelly gave them a piercing death stare. That only made them laugh harder as they made their way to the ambulance.

Mills hadn't said much all day. There hadn't been anyone to say much to. The guys had avoided him like a rash. When he finally got Dawson alone, he had to vent.

"What the hell," he began. "I can't believe all these douche bags I called friends are not happy for me. It has ALWAYS been my dream to be on squad. If they're jealous...screw them all of ..."

"Babe, calm down. They are your friends! It's just a lot to take in. You've been here for like half a second, so it is unexpected. You are great at what you do. Squad is just a huge step..." Dawson began trying to get Peter to see the other guys' perspective.

"So you don't think I've earned it either. Great, my own girlfriend has no faith in me. Screw it all!" yelled Mills as he rushed out the door.

Dawson was left standing alone with her mouth open wondering what the hell had just happened.

The day had been so slow and it was finally almost over. Shay had actually been praying for a call just to alleviate the tension in the firehouse. Be careful what you wish for she thought as the alarm sounded 30 minutes before end of shift.

Truck, squad and the paramedics all took off hearing that they were going to an apartment fire. Scanning the scene, Shay saw several people out front looking like they needed some medical attention.

"I'll go to that lady in the T-shirt, you take that the guy on the ground first," said Dawson stopping the ambulance.

"Sounds like a plan," said Shay as she stepped out, grabbing her medical case and hurrying to her victim.

Before she even got to the woman she could hear her crying out, "My son! I don't see my son! He must be in there! He's only six!" she wailed heading for the burning building.

"Whoa,whoa. We're here to help. I'm radioing the chief and he'll get the firemen to get him. What floor?" Shay said with a smooth as silk voice calming the woman instantly.

"Second floor! Apartment 206! Hurry!" the woman said obviously in pain.

"Boden, it's Shay. I've got a victim here who says her six year old hasn't come out. Second floor, apartment 206."

"Good work, Shay. We'll get him. Casey, the first floor is engulfed. Get your guys in the front and back to suffocate this bitch. Severide, take one of your team, go in through the window. It doesn't look like the fire is up to the second yet. 206, 206. Got it? Get that kid!" commanded Boden.

"Got it!" yelled Kelly looking for Hadley, scanning the parking lot. Mills was right by his side.

"I can help you lieutenant! Your crew is helping Casey knock down that wall!" said Mills the excitement in his voice evident.

Damn, he was like the over eager puppy who wanted to play at midnight while you were trying to sleep. Every swat of your hand made him want to play even more.

"Okay. We are going up on the ladder. You are staying on the ladder. You are not to come in. I'm getting that kid and when I come back I need you ready to grab him and help him down. Understand?" asked Kelly with a tone in his voice that left no room for arguing.

"Yes, lieutenant," replied Mills not quite believing that he was sort of a part of squad, at least for a few minutes.

"Let's haul ass!" yelled Severide as he flew up the ladder. Man, this guy's in incredible shape thought Mills following close behind.

Kelly was through the window like a man possessed. 206, 206, 206...there it is. He was barreling through the door in a matter of seconds. The smoke wasn't that bad on the second - it was ravaging through the first but had its sights set on the floor above like a predator to prey.

Kelly went room to room in 206, no kid. He checked under every bed, in every closet. No little boy anywhere. Where the hell was he?

Shay had seen Severide shoot up the ladder with Mills close behind. Shit, she thought. So much for my speech getting through that thick skull of his. She couldn't help but smile.

A lady came running toward Shay and the mother holding a little boy. You have got to be kidding me, thought Shay.

"Michael! Thank God!" cried the mother running to her son.

"Chief, there is no boy in 206! I repeat no kid up there. He's safe! Get Kelly out of there!" screamed Shay.

"Severide! Did you hear that? No kid! Get the hell out of there. Mills, be ready to grab him," boomed Boden with the urgency of someone who knew this situation was going south quick.

No shit, thought Severide. He had looked everywhere in that damn apartment worried that the boy had left and gone somewhere else on the floor. Thank God that was not the case. He knew time was running short. He could tell the fire on the first floor was on the ceiling, meaning it was coming up through the floor he was standing on. He moved quickly making good time to the window. Mills was practically hanging half his body through the opening, waiting impatiently.

"Back up!" yelled Kelly. He knew the floor was going to give way any second and he might have to make a dive through the window. He was running as fast as he could each step felt shakier and shakier. He felt part of the floor giving way and made a desperate leap. He knew he was too far out. This was not going to be good, he thought.

Mills caught one of his hands, preventing the lieutenant from falling through to the first floor. He groped for Kelly's other hand but could feel himself being pulled over the sill.

"Let go, now!" commanded Kelly. He could see part of the floor intact directly to the right of the window. "Let go! There's a spot I can get to then drop me a line!" screamed Kelly knowing Mills was going to come tumbling over any minute.

"No way! I am not letting you go!" yelled Mills feeling himself creeping closer and closer to taking a head dive. He couldn't let himself drop his future lieutenant; he knew he could get him on the ladder. His legs were telling him otherwise as they were getting dangerously close to the end of the ladder.

Kelly was beyond frantic; he finally wrenched his hand free and dropped to that beautiful patch of floor still remaining.

"Line! Line! Throw me that line! Now! Mills?" yelled Kelly worried more for his candidate than his own precarious situation.

Kelly couldn't see that Mills had flipped over the ladder but instead of landing through the window he went over the side. He had caught himself and was hanging onto the rungs underneath. Casey caught sight of Mills struggling and ran up that ladder his mind set on pulling him to safety, but he couldn't help but think of Severide and what he was going to find when he got to that window. He grabbed Mill's left arm and helped him inch his way back onto the ladder, all the while he could hear Severide screaming for a line. Jesus, Severide didn't yell like that unless it was serious. Mills was still getting to safety when Casey jettisoned over him, sticking his head through the window. He saw his friend on the little piece of floor that hadn't crashed down to the first floor...yet.

Casey couldn't reach for the line quick enough. He let out a sigh when he saw Severide smiling as he said, "It's about time. Sorry to interrupt your make out session with Mills. He's okay, right?" asked Severide reaching for the line.

Casey was about to say yes but instead only a gasp came out of his mouth as he watched his friend crash through the floor. "Severide!" he yelled. Kelly's patch of safety had given way along with the rest of the second story floor.

"Chief, Severide just went through the floor! He's on one! Get my men in there now and get me down NOW!" yelled Casey.

Mills couldn't see what had happened but he didn't need to. He knew what happened and where Severide was right now. He buried his face in his hands and barely noticed as Casey climbed right over him to get to the ground first.

Shay felt like she was in some sort of surreal nightmare. She had watched as the scene unfolded. She watched as Peter had held onto something; she had watched as he let go of that something; and she had watched as he almost fell off the ladder. Dawson grabbed her hand and let out a small squeal - very un-Dawson like, thought Shay. She felt a little relief when Casey ran up the ladder. She kept waiting for Kelly to come through that window. Praying for him to come through that window. Shay felt herself running toward Boden.

"What's going on? Where is Kelly? Chief, please tell me he's alright!" Shays eyes pleaded with Boden to tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Shay, he fell through, but we're getting him out now. Stay back and let us work. Severide has been in worse situations than this one," reassured the Chief not believing his own words.

Shay felt Dawson's arms around her, tears falling down both paramedics' faces.

"Severide! Severide!" yelled Mouch, eyes frantically searching the floor looking for any sign of the missing lieutenant.

"Shut the hell up!" shouted Casey. "Everyone, no talking!"

He was listening for the tell-tale sign of that long beep saying one of their own was in trouble, was not moving, was perhaps dead. Cruz heard the sound first.

Jumping over ceiling beams, running through patches of fire, ignoring the black smoke, Cruz was going to reach Severide. Casey was close behind his heart being faster and faster worried about what he would find.

"Casey, over here!" yelled Cruz. He saw Severide's face and one arm. Everything else was beneath rubble. He looked lifeless. They knew they had seconds to get him out of there, if even that. Cruz and the rest of the team began getting everything off of their friend. Casey kneeled down to Kelly's face. He hesitantly touched Kelly's neck not knowing if he wanted to know. At first, he felt nothing. He pressed much harder and felt something faint.

"I've got a pulse!" shouted Casey taking a breath not realizing he had been holding it.

Cruz and Otis were pulling a ceiling beam off of Kelly's chest. There was another one across his legs. This is bad, thought Casey, really bad. Shit, why hadn't he really put things to rest once and for all. The blame game they had played over Andy's death. It would have been so easy to get past it. The thing with Heather Darden, Casey knew he was flirting with disaster, but could he admit that to Kelly? No.

"Kelly, it's Matt. Can you hear me? Open your eyes," pleaded Casey. "Guys, are we done? Can we get him the hell out of here?" asked Casey.

"We're good. Should I put him over my shoulder or two of us get his arms and legs?" asked Cruz.

"Arms and legs," said Casey grabbing Kelly's arms. A loud moan came from the injured lieutenant's mouth. That was a good sign, thought Casey. If Severide could feel pain it meant he wasn't dead.

Shay was almost out of control with worry. She was talking nonstop and shuffling through her medical bag double checking her supplies. They saw Casey first, holding onto Severide's arms then Cruz holding his legs and a limp body in between. When Shay saw her roommate, she lost control. She ran to her best friend, touching his face, stroking the side of his cheek, telling him she loves him.

"Peter, get over here! I need you! Shay, keep talking to Kelly. Hold his hand. Casey, what do we have?" Dawson was all business pushing the fact that this was a friend out of her mind.

Casey and Cruz filled her in on where the heaviest beams had landed. Dawson felt Kelly's chest and knew ribs were crushed and internal injuries were a foregone conclusion. She had to keep him alive to make it to the ER. His legs were bleeding heavily, Peter could start on that.

"Get that bleeding under control," barked Dawson glancing at Kelly's legs. Mills was glad to have a job. A job trying to save the lieutenant he idolized. He had been waiting by Boden in total silence, feeling the disappointment in the air. Now he was determined to do anything he could to right the wrong.

Shay was sobbing, inarticulate, yelling at Kelly to open his eyes. Dawson couldn't even think. She had to intubate; the crushed ribs had collapsed Kelly's lungs and breathing was much too labored. Dawson wished she could insert a chest tube, but needle decompression was all she could legally do. The bleeding in Kelly's chest demanded relief; it would have to be okay until he reached the hospital.

"Shay! Kelly needs you! Get it together!" Dawson said to her best friend. Shay calmed down and used a much softer tone, not letting go of Kelly's hand.

They got Kelly to the hospital alive but Dawson and Casey had to pry Shay off of him. He was rushed to surgery - the painful waiting had begun. They were all there, all except Mills. He had strained his wrist and an ER doctor was checking it out. Mills appeared, arm in a sling and sat down by Shay.

"Leslie, I am so sorry. I should have..." began Mills.

"You should have done what you were told! What do you not understand about the direct orders of 'let go'?" Shay was screaming now with a manic look in her eyes that even Dawson had never seen.

Dawson touched Shay's arm gently, "Leslie..."

"Don't touch me!" shouted Shay directly in Dawson's face. "I don't know if you have been keeping track, but Kelly's been in surgery for five hours! Five hours! That is not good! Did you see him? He looked dead! He is broken! If you had just done what you were told, we would be at Molly's right now, having drinks. I would be laughing and he would be telling some bullshit story... But now..." Shay was spent. She had no more words. Chief Boden grabbed her and held her close. Shay's body trembled in the chief's arms. He kept whispering, "Shhhh, shhhh."

The surgeon finally came with a glimmer of hope - Kelly was alive. The hope was short-lived when he gave Kelly's chances. 25%. That was it. Shay stopped listening after hearing about broken ribs, collapsed lungs, damaged liver, removed spleen, one leg broken... She didn't want to hear anymore. She had to see him.

"I need to see him," Shay interrupted. It sounded like a request but was much more of a demand.

"Absolutely not. Lieutenant Severide needs total rest. He wouldn't even know you were there. I suggest you all go home, clean up, and come back tomorrow. We will call you if there is any change," said the surgeon with the sound of God that allowed for no arguing.

"Listen up, asshole. The person I love more than anyone else on this earth is in there. He WILL know I am there and I would like to see you try and stop me," replied Shay with such a matter of fact attitude the surgeon was left speechless.

Shay walked to the nurses station and was led to Kelly's ICU room. Looking in, Shay felt a sob escape her mouth. He looked so small, so not like Kelly. How could this be her roommate? Tubes were literally coming out from everywhere. She opened the door and went to his bedside. She crawled on his bed, careful not to disturb one tube or line. She crawled into a ball and got as close to him as she could without touching his body. She put a hand to his face and began softly stroking his cheek. His face had been untouched. You would think he was perfectly fine if your gaze stayed there. The second your eyes scanned his body you knew otherwise.

Dawson and Casey were outside Kelly's room now looking in. The surgeon had given up trying to tell these people no.

"It's bad isn't it," asked Casey, his voice breaking.

Dawson grabbed his hand tight. "Yes," Dawson said squeezing a little more.

"What is this? With Shay?" Casey asked taking Dawson's hand to his lips.

"What are you talking about?" asked Dawson.

"This looks like a lot more than friends to me. It looks like someone IN love, not just friend love," said Casey softly glad that Dawson hadn't pulled away. He needed her right now.

"I don't know. They are always touching, kissing each other on the cheek, the forehead, but Shay says they are just friends. If it is more, I hope they get the chance to tell each other. I know that's one mistake hard to live with," Dawson said looking into Casey's eyes.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," said Casey meeting Dawson's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Mills couldn't believe what he was seeing. Casey and his girl holding hands? Casey kissing Gabby's hand?

"What the hell is going on?" yelled Mills, his voice way too loud for the quiet of the ICU. Soft beeps and the sound of oxygen coursing through ventilators was the norm for this floor. Mills' voice reverberated through the hall where too many patients were clinging on to life.

"Pete, sshhhh!" whispered Dawson with anger mounting in her eyes. Casey released her hand and the comforting moment was gone. "Pete, calm down. There is nothing going on. Casey and I are just worried about Kelly," Dawson continued making sure to keep her voice just low enough so that Shay would not hear.

"And I'm NOT worried? Don't bullshit me Gabby! I've seen the way he looks at you! And that little warning he gave me about treating you right? I am not a child. I know what's going on. If you want Casey, you got it!" Mills' voice was so loud there was no chance of Shay not hearing.

"Pete, this isn't about you or me or Casey! That's Kelly, right there!" Dawson said pointing at their friend lying in a hospital bed, almost unrecognizable with all the tubes hooked up to him.

"I know. I just really needed you tonight," said Mills quieting down. Shay was slowly making her way off Kelly's bed and all Dawson could think was that she had to get Peter out of there now.

"Casey, thanks. Really, thanks for everything," Dawson said squeezing his arm. "I think I better get Mills out of here. Text me if there's any change and keep an eye on our girl. I'll make her go home to shower and change clothes tomorrow. There's no chance she's leaving his side tonight," Gabby said with a sadness in her voice not lost on the lieutenant.

"No problem," replied Casey tersely, disappointment in his eyes. He wanted to say so much more, but this moment was definitely not the right one.

Dawson grabbed Mills' arm and led him down the hall to the elevator. Tonight was not the night to talk to him about their relationship. That night would come soon enough.

"Gabby, I'm sorry. I just can't believe everything that has happened. I know you are with me; I just sort of lost it. Tell me everything will be okay. Tell me we are okay," pleaded Mills looking into Dawson's eyes with the desperation of a man who could handle not one more thing that night. The desperation of a man who was about to break.

"Yeah, Pete. We're okay," lied Dawson not quite meeting his eyes.

Shay had heard the yelling but didn't want to leave Kelly's side. She honestly felt that if she stepped out of his room he might die. She knew it was ridiculous. It made no sense, but she felt like her lying next to him, willing him to live was keeping him alive.

When she saw Peter Mills' face through the glass, she began to gently get off of Kelly's bed. You have got to be kidding me, she thought. You didn't do enough damage tonight? By the time she reached the door, Dawson and Mills were gone. She saw Casey and opened the door, waving him in. He immediately drew her into his arms, hugging her tightly. They clung to each other for several minutes hanging on for dear life, hanging on to hope, hanging on for their friend. They didn't say a word to each other. Shay finally let go, her face wet with tears, and headed back to Kelly's bed. Casey pulled a chair closer to the bed and settled in for the night.

Kelly's condition stayed the same that night, no improvement but no emergencies either. Doctors and nurses were constantly in his room checking tubes and lines, taking him for more CT scans to check for internal bleeding, replacing drips, it was a constant buzz in his room, everyone having the same goal in mind - keeping this man alive.

"Honey, why don't you get something to eat? Take a few minutes for yourself. I won't leave your husband's side until you get back," said one of the nurses hoping Shay would take her up on the offer.

Shay didn't have the energy to explain her relationship with Kelly, so she just let the assumption of husband and wife alone. She had long been kicked out of the bed and was slumped in a chair next to Casey. "Umm, I will take some coffee if you don't mind," asked Shay looking at Casey.

"I don't mind at all," replied Casey easing slowly out of the chair, back aching. "But you are going to have to leave this room eventually, Shay."

"I know. I can't right now," said Shay looking at Kelly lying so still, the only movement was the rise and fall of his chest caused by the machine that was breathing for him. "I don't want to miss the doctor when he comes by."

"Okay, I'll be right back," replied Casey not pushing the matter, not yet at least.

"Oh my God! Kelly, son!" yelled Benny Severide as he rushed through the door. "What happened? Is he hooked up to a ventilator?"

Shay had called Benny while Kelly was in surgery, but the elder Severide was on a fishing trip with his buddies. It would take several hours for him to arrive. Well, now he had definitely arrived.

Benny rushed to his son's side. "Where is the doctor? What is all this attached to him? I need to see his doctor now!" Benny was in full assault mode and Shay would have none of it.

"Benny, you need to keep your voice down or shut the hell up. Kelly doesn't need this. He needs quiet. You need to get your shit together or get the hell out," said Shay in a fierce whisper. Calming Benny down was helping Shay get control herself. She had a purpose right now. She wasn't hanging in limbo, staring at her best friend, willing him to open his eyes.

"Shay, what happened? What's wrong with him?" Benny asked in a much quieter tone, embarrassed by his outburst. Shay reached out to hug him and took a deep breath.

"There's a lot wrong with him. The doctor should be by soon making rounds to update us. It was an apartment fire that went wrong, just a chain of events that led to this," Shay was trying to keep her voice steady.

"He's going to be okay?" asked Benny knowing he didn't want a truthful answer.

"Hell yeah," said Shay forcing a smile that she hoped looked somewhat real.

Back at Firehouse 51 things were too quiet, no calls, no conversation, just the worried looks of Severide's fellow firefighters, his family.

"Jesus, why haven't we gotten one call? Why hasn't Shay texted us back? Casey too?" said Cruz to no one in particular.

Casey walked in at that exact moment looking like hell. He hadn't slept at all, just stared at Severide and Shay all night. He wanted nothing more than to go home and shower, but he knew his team needed to see him. Needed to hear from him.

"Casey, what do you know?" Boden asked the concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing really guys. He's alive, that's the good news. His condition hasn't changed at all. I didn't get to see the doctor, but Shay said she would call as soon as she saw him."

"How is Shay? How's she holding up?" asked Mouch truly concerned for the paramedic he held a soft spot for. He knew Leslie's tough exterior and equally tough mouth hid the real Shay - a woman who cared for every victim with the same compassion whether it was a junkie or a stockbroker.

"She's okay I guess. Benny showed up when I was leaving, so Shay had her hands full. Dawson's going to try to get her out of there today. We just have to wait," Casey said knowing that no one in this firehouse was particularly good at that.

"Kelly is one tough son of a bitch. He didn't make it through his neck surgery to be taken out by this fire. We need to be patient and pray," said Boden with a softer tone than usual. He, like Casey, knew that patience was a virtue not many of his men held, including himself. He also knew he had to have a difficult conversation with a candidate today. He was not looking forward to that but avoiding difficult situations was not his style.

Mills wasn't on shift but came in a few hours later. Dawson was heading back to the hospital and he couldn't just hang out at his apartment. He was going stir crazy. He needed his friends. Most of all he needed to know that Lieutenant Severide would be okay. He pushed the events of the night out of his mind, a self defense mechanism, but that would soon change.

"Mills, in my office," said Boden as soon as he saw Peter. The difficult part was about to kick in.

The two men walked into Boden's office and Mills started speaking, "Chief, I know I screwed up. But I also know I was about to get Severide out of there..."

"I am the one doing the talking! You are doing the listening, and I suggest you really listen, you take in every word I say if you have any future here at 51," said Boden losing his cool fast. "The first part of what you said is correct. You did screw up. Severide is in bad shape and even if he survives he is in for a whole lot of pain. You are taking a step back," said Boden slowly.

"But Chief, I know," began Mills feeling the situation leading to a place he didn't want to go.

"Don't interrupt me again," Boden said with dead calm in his voice. "What I KNOW is that you are not accepting the reality of the situation. You are still fooling yourself thinking you were going to miraculously haul Kelly out of there with one hand. If Casey had not gotten up there when he did I would have two men in the hospital right now, or worse. Now, what IS going to happen is that you are taking a step back. You are going to be on truck with no moves to squad until I say, if that ever comes. You are going to be happy on truck, satisfied on truck, and you are going to serve your time on truck just like everyone else. Now go home or go to your mother's and wait for me to call you!"

Mills was furious but knew not to say one word. He nodded his head and walked out of Firehouse 51, head down, without looking at or talking to anyone.

Back at the hospital,,,

Dawson walked to Kelly's room to see Shay and Benny sitting side by side, chairs touching, arms around each other, and the same worried looks on their faces. Shay's face lit up slightly when she saw her friend.

She walked to the door and whispered, "Come in. They've given up trying to tell us what to do so you can come in. The doctor had some good news. He said Kelly's chances have gone up since he survived the night. That's good, right?" Shay said looking at her roommate not quite believing her own words.

Benny nodded at Dawson knowing it was time to give these two a minute alone. "I'm getting coffee and I'm going get this girl something to eat," he said with a weak smile as he walked out of the room. Dawson nodded returning her attention back to her best friend.

"He's got so much wrong with him, Gabby. He's in bad shape," Shay's voice broke, the tough girl routine over.

"I know," shushed Dawson taking her friend in her arms. "But you know what else I know? He is going to wake up, then he's going to come off that vent, then he's going to come home." Shay desperately needed to hear those words. And it seemed Kelly needed to hear those words. As if on cue, he let out a loud moan and began grabbing furiously for the tube in his mouth.

Aahhhh! The pain Kelly felt was like nothing he had experienced. His arm, neck, and shoulder had been killing him for the months preceding his neck surgery, but he had found relief through those magical little pills Anna gave him. Kelly knew those pills wouldn't have touched the pain he was currently feeling; they wouldn't have been allowed to get near the torture he was experiencing. How could every part of his body be screaming in agony? And what the hell was in his mouth? His left arm would move so he was reaching for the foreign object with that hand. Kelly tried to make his right arm move but it felt like his shoulder was being literally ripped out. Aaahhh! It was the only sound he could make and he was damn sure making it.

Shay and Dawson were on both sides of him. Dawson was holding down his left arm and Shay was talking to him, telling him to stop, telling him he was going to be alright, telling him the tube in his throat was helping him breathe. Kelly heard none of it. A minute earlier, he had been in a sweet oblivion of pain free dreaming, not remotely aware of the fuss going on around him. Now, he was in full distress. Waking up could be a bitch. A nurse ran in and gave him a rather large dose of morphine. Kelly immediately relaxed and could make out the face of his girl, Leslie Shay.

"Shay," he said simply.

Those were the best words Shay had ever heard from her roommate.


	3. Chapter 3

The breathing tube was the first to go. "Mr. Severide, we are going to extubate you first. We're getting this tube out of your throat. I need you to try and take a deep breath when I tell you, then cough it out. Do you understand? Nod your head yes, if you do," said one of the numerous doctors caring for the fallen firefighter.

Kelly nodded his head wearily. The tube came out met with the violent coughs of the injured lieutenant. Shay drew closer holding his hand, stroking his cheek. The coughs died down and Kelly now lay still, receiving oxygen through the nose. Shay gave him a reassuring smile. The doctor let Kelly rest for only a few minutes then it was back upstairs to get another CT scan. If there were still no signs of internal bleeding, that chest tube would be the next to go.

Benny had been silent since Dawson's arrival and Kelly coming to. That was coming to an end. "Hey, I'm going upstairs to see if I can find someone to tell us what his prognosis is. He's awake! That has to be good, right?" Benny left the two friends alone embarking on his mission. It was what he needed, so the paramedics let him leave knowing it would probably end with no new information.

"How are you really doing, girl?" asked Dawson quietly drawing her friend in for a hug.

"I don't know. I feel like I'm going a little crazy. I thought I was losing Kelly last night, Gabby. I thought he was going to die. I felt it in my heart," Shay began crying, a little shocked that she had any more tears to shed.

"That is why I'm here. I'm taking you home to shower, change clothes, to eat a little. I'll bring you back in a few.." Dawson's words were cut short.

"There is no way I'm leaving him now! He just woke up. He's going to need to see me, to know I'm here," Shay was speaking with such force Dawson knew it was pointless to argue. She would try later when Kelly returned and the chest tube was taken out. She knew he would be in and out of consciousness and she had a better chance of convincing her friend to leave if he was sleeping peacefully.

There was nothing peaceful about Kelly at the moment. True, he was fading in and out, but every minute of awareness made him painfully aware of one thing - he was in some serious pain. With the tube out of his throat, his moans were louder and included some choice words although not clearly articulated. A few moments of clarity allowed him to crack his eyes open and see that Shay was not there. His heart rate was rapidly nearing a dangerous pace.

"Increase that morphine by 2 cc's. We've got to get that pain under control now. Let's get him back to his room," instructed the doctor not willing to let his patient take a turn for the worse.

When Kelly got back to his room, he was unconscious. . The increase in morphine had done its trick and he was free of pain for the moment. Shay looked at the doctor expectantly.

"Good news. No sign of any internal bleeding, so that chest tube can come out. We're going to wait an hour and let him rest up. He was in considerable pain upstairs, but I've adjusted the morphine and it seems to have done the trick," the doctor said without looking up from Kelly's chart.

"May I ask you a question," Shay asked softly.

"Of course," said the doctor still not looking up.

"What are his chances? Please tell me that he is going to be okay because this isn't just some faceless patient. This is a hero. Kelly has probably saved the lives of more people than you have, doctor. He is the best person I know with the best heart and if that heart stops beating, I don't know what..." Shay's voice broke into a sob, Dawson holding her in tight.

"I am sorry, ma'am," began the doctor, now looking directly at Shay. "Your husband is my number one priority. Yes, his chances of a full recovery have dramatically increased. I have no doubts about his heart because frankly I didn't give him much of a chance last night. I am glad he has proven me wrong," the doctor had a small smile on his face treating Shay like a human being for the first time. "I also don't want to minimize the seriousness of his condition. He came in here with so much trauma. He has a long, long road ahead. This is a good start."

Kelly could hear Shay's voice. He forced his eyes open a little and tried to say her name, but all that came out was another moan.

"I'm here!" Shay said rushing to his side. "Gabby, he said my name again. He knows I'm here."

Dawson hadn't heard anything come out of Kelly's mouth that resembled a word, and definitely not Shay's name, but she nodded her head enthusiastically yes. "He knows you're here," she agreed.

Benny's trek upstairs had come to an abrupt stop when some nurses stopped him before he even made it to the elevator. They suggested he get some coffee for the paramedics waiting in his son's room.

"Great idea!" he told them with a big smile. He was living somewhere between denial and fantasy, taking Kelly's waking up as a sign of total recovery. He was whistling to himself when he ran into Mouch getting off an elevator. It didn't take long for Benny to get the details of the the apartment fire gone bad. He said nothing when Mouch finished his tale. He turned, walked out of the hospital and headed to Firehouse 51.

"Where the hell is he?" shouted Benny as he entered the station. "Where is Peter Mills? I knew he was just like his father... The apple doesn't fall far from..."

"Benny, you need to get control and calm down. I know you are upset about Kelly. We all are! But Mills is not here and if he were, you would have a snowball's chance in hell of reaching him. Now, get back to the hospital and be with your son," Chief Boden commanded walking towards Benny, arms held up as if backing him away.

"I know he's here! I know it! Stop protecting that bastard!" Benny was hysterical now and every firefighter was watching the display with a combination of shock and sadness.

"Benny, come on," Boden pleaded. "Come on now. Kelly needs you. You get on back. We'll talk about this in a few days when you've had some time..." Boden continued. His eyes grew wider as the candidate entered the station. Benny turned around, saw Mills and delivered a blow to the face that would have rivaled the youngest, strongest man in the firehouse. Mills was so stunned he didn't even react, just fell to the ground. What the hell is Mills doing here, thought Boden. That ass chewing I gave him is going to seem like a parade compared to the one I'm going to give him. That would have to wait.

Boden and Cruz were on Benny before another swing came. They held him tight and didn't let go until the elder Severide was outside the station. Benny struggled, fighting against the two men frantically out of control. Finally, his body became passive knowing it was a losing battle. Cruz released him but Boden kept holding on, both arms wrapped around. They were in front of Benny's car and Boden still did not let go.

"Chief, he's done," said Cruz softly looking quizzically at his chief. Boden said nothing, just kept a firm hold.

Benny grabbed onto Boden, but not in an aggressive manner, more like a man trying not to fall, a man needing something to hold onto. A sob tore from Benny's chest and Boden just kept holding on. Cruz silently walked into the station without a word not answering any of the questioning looks coming from his friends.

Back at the hospital, Kelly's chest tube had been removed making him look a little more like a man on the mend. He was currently unconscious, so Dawson knew this was about her only chance at getting Shay out of there. Her concern for her friend was growing deeper with each passing hour. Shay needed to eat, to sleep...and she needed that soon.

"Hey, the doctor said he's resting right now and it would be the perfect time for you to go home and shower, eat a little, then we'll come right back. Shay, you aren't going to be helping Kelly if you end up in the hospital. He is going to need you. You've got to keep up your strength," tried Dawson feeling like she was grasping at straws. She knew that Kelly and Shay were close, but this bond was something else. The depth of it had been unknown to her before last night. She suspected the same was true for Shay.

"You might be right. I definitely need a shower. But we can only be gone long enough for me to get cleaned up and pack a bag for Kelly. Agreed?" Shay said slowly not sure if she agreed with her own words. She hated to leave him for a second. If something happened to him while she was gone. God, she just didn't know.

"Pack a bag for Kelly?" asked Dawson not sure where her friend was headed.

"Yes, for when he leaves the hospital. He needs a change of clothes," answered Shay blue eyes daring Dawson to argue with her.

"Good idea," Dawson said nodding her head knowing it would be a long while before Kelly got out of ICU let alone out of the hospital. Whatever it took to get her friend out of there.

Shay had a hard time walking into the apartment. She opened the door and saw their dinner plates still on the counter. Tears formed in her eyes as she thought of their conversation that night. The way he teased her for being a mother hen, she teased him back for also being a mother hen but to Peter Mills. They had stayed up way too late, but Shay was so glad they had. She knew deep within her that it would be a long time before that would happen again - if ever.

Gabby saw the tears and grabbed Shay's hand. "Hey, hey, you can do this. You get in the shower, now. I'm going to whip up something to eat then we'll get back. Okay?" Dawson was in her own mother hen mode and knew she had to get Shay moving before she changed her mind and headed back to the hospital.

Shay showered quickly not letting herself enjoy the hot water. She got dressed, put her hair in a wet bun and headed to Kelly's room. She drew in a heavy breath as she faced his door. It was funny, she thought, how few times she had actually been in his bedroom. And how few times he'd been in hers. They always hung out in the kitchen or living room. She took another breath and turned the knob letting herself in. Immediately, she was hit with how much his room smelled like Kelly. It was that smell of clean combined with some old fashioned after shave, no fancy male fragrance, no it was all masculine in here. She went to his dresser first and was struck by the picture of the two of them that Dawson took at the Firemen's Banquet. It was a recent picture and she smiled remembering how Dawson had teased them saying that they looked like the picture that came with a frame, not real people. "Nah," Kelly had smiled playfully, "this girl right here Is the gorgeous one." Kelly had said kissing her hand.

Shay opened the top drawer and grabbed a pair of briefs. When she opened the next drawer down she saw two rows of neatly folded T-shirts and quickly grabbed one holding it up to her face. Now this not only smelled like Kelly but felt like him too. Tears were flowing down her face as she made her way to his bed. She curled up in a ball and held tight to his T-shirt. Exhaustion overtook her and she was out, shirt pressed against her face.

Dawson let her sleep. She knew Shay would be pissed when she eventually woke up, but she let her sleep. She was in constant contact with Benny and the ICU nurses, so she knew Kelly's condition was the same. No need to rush back right now, but Shay desperately needed some rest.

"Oh my God! You let me sleep for four hours! What the hell? We have got to get back!" yelled Shay stumbling down the stairs still holding the T-shirt in her hand.

"Kelly is doing okay, no change. I just spoke to Benny. You are going to eat this omelette first and only then will I consider taking you back," Dawson said with no hint of negotiation in her voice.

When the two made it back to Kelly's room, Benny got up and hugged Shay tightly. "My kid is hanging in there," he said with a small smile.

"Has he woken up? Has he been in much pain?" asked Shay drawing closer to her roommate touching his forehead.

"He's been more out of it than anything else. No more pain than I would expect. A funny thing though... I got a message from a Renee Royce saying she is in town and would like to see Kelly if it's okay with me. Isn't that the girl Kelly almost ran off to Madrid with?" asked Benny.

Shay's mouth opened but not a word came out. Dawson answered for her, "Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

Shay had forgotten how beautiful Renee was. That is until she saw the reaction of Benny Severide when she entered the ICU waiting room. Renee's face lit up with a genuine smile as she held out a hand to Benny, "Hello Mr. Severide. I wish we could have met earlier under different circumstances." Benny Severide was speechless maybe for the first time in his life; Shay couldn't believe it.

"Hell, if I had known how beautiful you were, I would have bought that plane ticket to Madrid for Kelly myself," Benny said laughing obviously won over by the gorgeous brunette.

Shay stood back hesitantly wishing Dawson hadn't left her alone to face this woman. She had liked Renee, she just wasn't up for this right now. She needed to be focused on Kelly, on getting him better. The fact that she was there charming the God knows what out of Benny was just irritating.

"Shay," said Renee drawing closer to Kelly's best friend. "I'm in Chicago at my old office for this week and I wanted to surprise Kelly with a lunch invitation. Honestly, I didn't have the guts to text him, so I decided to just show up," admitted Renee with a nervous laugh. "When I got to the station I knew something was seriously wrong the minute I saw the guys' faces. Mouch told me what happened and I had to come. Thank you for letting me see your son," Renee said turning back to Benny. "He means a lot to me," she finished.

"Renee, I think you're wasting your time. He's really in no condition to see anyone. It's family only right now, but we'll call you when he's feeling better and the next time you're in the states you can..." began Shay not knowing where this line of bull was coming from. Was she insane? This was a love of Kelly's and she was acting like a jealous wife. Just stop talking, she said to herself.

Benny could definitely be counted on to relieve any awkward silences. "Don't be ridiculous, Shay! Renee, come on. I think YOU are just the thing Kelly needs to turn that corner. Now, he looks like hell, but I think he's going to be fine. He's a fighter just like his dad."

Shay stood in the waiting room alone. The two she was just talking to didn't even notice she was not following.

Kelly continued to drift in and out of consciousness, the doctors optimistic that he had any moments of clarity. "Ahhh," he moaned softly aware of the pain throughout his body. Each moment of waking up was met with pains emanating from where? It seemed from nowhere but also from everywhere. He began to just wish for the peaceful sleep, but against his wishes he seemed to be waking up more and more. He had tried focusing on his surroundings, seeing where he was, what was all of this? What happened to him? He knew he saw Shay earlier, he thought, or was it a dream? "Ahh," he moaned again opening his eyes wider.

A soft hand held his and an equally soft voice was whispering his name. Shay, he thought. Thank God. "Hey, stranger," said Renee looking at a clearly bewildered Kelly.

Kelly felt his pain shoot to knew levels and there was no mistaking where it was coming from - his ribs and stomach felt like they were ablaze. It was hard to breath, really hard to breath, could his lungs be on fire too. His left leg was coming in a close second on the pain scale. Did he even have a left leg? Kelly answered his own question, if it was gone it sure as hell wouldn't be killing him like this.

"Shay!" he called out half begging and half demanding. Shay pushed past Benny first, then Renee as she made her way next to his bed. Why was she feeling like she just won the homecoming queen crown in high school? This was ridiculous, she thought. This is not a contest, this is Kelly's life.

"I'm here, Kel," Shay assured. "You're okay. You were in an accident, a bad apartment fire. You were hurt, but you ARE going to be alright," Shay continued knowing all the questions her roommate would want answered if he could ask them.

"Mills? Is he okay?" Kelly could barely get the words out. It hurt too badly, but he had to know.

Shay's voice was trembling now, the thought of losing this man was too much. How could he be asking about someone else? Typical Kelly, she thought. As Hermann had so eloquently put it, Kelly would give you the shirt off his back If you were lying dead in the street. Just what a dead man needs, thought Shay with a small smile.

"He's fine, good, not a scratch. How's YOUR pain level? Do you want me to get a nurse?" asked Shay looking into Kelly's eyes, seeing up close how broken the lieutenant was.

Renee hadn't even been an afterthought in the roommates' minds as they talked in barely a whisper.

"Mr. Severide, it was great to meet you but I think you have it under control around here. I think Kelly has everything he needs right here. Please keep me updated and give him my love," said Renee making a quick exit. She knew things were truly over between this man she loved, really loved and herself. Things could have been so different, so beautiful. He was nothing she had planned for, didn't meet many of the list of requirements she made for the perfect husband, but here he lie so near physically to her, but so far away. It was time to go, to let go. Renee brushed away the tears streaming down her face as she walked away from Kelly Severide for the last time.

Shay switched into full paramedic mode demanding increased doses, a meeting with Kelly's doctors, had anyone called Kelly's neurosurgeon, had his neck been checked out?

"Shay, stop, stop," Kelly mumbled. "What's wrong with me?" Kelly asked simply. Shay didn't know what to say. How much information to give him? The truth was too much, maybe a summarized version would do. Kelly accepted that he had broken ribs, collapsed lung, and broken leg- it all fit the pain he had. It was enough for now.

"Shay, come closer," Kelly's voice was barely a whisper. He looked at her face and asked, "Will you do one thing for me?" She nodded yes, trying to smile. "You look like crap. Go home. Sleep." Those were the last words Kelly had left in him for the night. He closed his eyes not waiting for a response. Typical Kelly, Shay thought again.

Benny had sat in stunned silence for the second time when Renee walked out of his son's room. He watched these two roommates interact with a new understanding.

"Shay, do as Kelly says. This is just the beginning. Kelly is going to need you." Benny looked at Shay wanting to say more, but for once stopped himself.

Back at the station, 51 had responded to three calls, all minor. The men were thrilled with each call. There seemed to be something so wrong with that fact, but they were thrilled nonetheless. Worrying about squad's lieutenant encompassed all of their time whether they were playing cards, watching tv, or working out. The distraction of a few calls was what they needed.

"Dawson, do you have a minute?" asked Casey with a smile on his face.

"Uh, sure," said Dawson nervously. She led him to her locker and found herself looking around to make sure no one was there. What the hell was she doing? This was not a secret mission. They didn't need total privacy and besides, Mills was off duty until further notice. Why was she looking to make sure he wasn't in there? "What's up?" she asked Casey sounding as casual as possible.

"I was wondering how Shay was holding up?" he asked concern in his eyes. Casey was being updated constantly by Benny but Shay hadn't responded to many texts. He was sure it was because Shay assumed Dawson was keeping everyone updated.

"She's okay," said Dawson too quickly. "Let me take that back. I don't know how she's doing. You know that expression 'worried sick'? Well, now I know what that means."

"I figured as much. And you? How are you holding up?" Casey asked with that normal Casey concern. That is one of his best qualities thought Dawson wistfully.

"I'm okay. Really. Shay is going to stay with me until Kelly gets home. She can't stand being alone in their apartment. I don't blame her. It must feel so lonely now. I can use the company too," Dawson admitted.

"I was thinking that if you two are up to it, I would bring by a couple of pizzas, beer, ice cream, and we could cheer her up a little. How does that sound?" asked Casey with hope in his eyes.

"I don't know. It might do her some good," said Dawson agreeing and feeling like she was doing something wrong.

"Okay. Let's make it early, say six o'clock?" Casey suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Dawson agreed.

It was 6:15 and no Casey. "I swear if you look out the window one more time, I'm going back to my place and you two will be all alone in here!" teased Shay. "He's running a little late. Kelly said it's one of Casey's greatest traits. He always said if he didn't have that one flaw he'd be damn near perfect. I think the later Casey was, the happier Kelly was," laughed Shay. Dawson was laughing too more at Shay's reaction than at Kelly's evaluation of Casey's flaw.

Casey rang the doorbell apologizing for being late, complaining about the snow, tumbling in arms full of pizza, beer, and Shay's favorite ice cream. He had paid attention to Kelly's nonstop talking about Shay and actually remembered what she liked.

Shay was on her phone constantly to Benny, the nurses, keeping updated on Kelly's condition. "No change. Benny said he hasn't been asking for me, so stay here."

"Benny's right," said Casey. "You are going to have to get back to work eventually, Shay. I'm sure Kelly wants you to go back to work. He doesn't want you living at the hospital."

Shay didn't say what she was thinking, that Casey didn't know what the hell he was talking about. She just nodded her head and shoveled in more pizza. They drank a few too many beers, watched a couple of movies, and finished off her ice cream. Shay had to admit it - she needed this. She was reenergizing for the days to come.

At the hospital, Kelly was in constant pain. The doctor that night was having a hard time getting a handle on Kelly's pain management and the lieutenant was finding that he couldn't doze off at all. He didn't have any lapses into unconsciousness and peace. Where the hell is Shay, he thought losing hold of any lucid thoughts. He didn't remember sending her away, he just knew she wasn't there. His breathing was shallow as the buzz around his room became more frantic. Benny had been sent out to the waiting room and struggled with whether he should call Shay. He decided to wait until he knew something.

Kelly was sucking air in but his lungs were on fire not letting any in. His chest was so heavy, was there something on it? He couldn't open his eyes, they wouldn't budge. Where was Shay? Kelly needed to hear her voice. He finally felt himself fading away. Yes! Sleep, no pain, finally, some peace. It had been a long day full of pain. This felt good.

"Shay," said Benny on the phone. You'd better get over here. Kelly's, Kelly's..." continued Benny, voice breaking.

"What?" yelled Shay. "What? Just say it!" she screamed with dread in her voice.

"Oh God, no, he's alive! I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to think he was... He took a bad turn. I don't know...just get over here."

Casey, Dawson, and Shay headed for the hospital. No words in the car, just the soft sounds of crying coming from Leslie Shay.


	5. Chapter 5

The look on Benny's face spoke volumes. Kelly had developed an infection. The doctors warned about this. They said he would face many challenges and to expect setbacks but it didn't make it any easier to accept.

"We are hitting him with some major antibiotics. I have no reason to think he won't respond well to them. He is breathing on his own, so let's not hit the panic button yet." The doctor was calm, but Shay had gone beyond hitting her panic button.

"I knew I shouldn't have left him. I knew this would happen," Shay began the pacing that would dominate the rest of her night. Dawson, Casey, and Benny stood helplessly by knowing they were powerless to help either friend. Dawson looked at Kelly's dad and knew he was done.

"Mr. Severide those antibiotics are going to kick in and Kelly is going to need you here. Why don't you go to the apartment and shower, maybe rest a little?" Dawson suggested softly. Benny reluctantly agreed. He, too, knew he was done. He made his way slowly out of the hospital heading to his son's apartment.

* * *

It had been a torturous stretch of time for Peter Mills. The young candidate was helping out at his mom's diner but it left for way too much time to be alone in his head. He replayed the events of that night over and over. He began to see more errors and mistakes in his actions and it was not a nice view. I just felt like I was going to lift Severide out of that window, I felt it so I couldn't let go. Wouldn't let go. Jesus, he was beginning to see why everyone had that look on their face, that look that Boden gave him when he kicked him out of the firehouse.

"Mom, I gotta get out of here. You good?" Mills asked taking off his apron and kissing his sister on the cheek.

"Sure, baby. Are YOU okay?" she asked concern written all over her face. She knew the answer to her own question, but she wanted to hear Peter say he was fine. She would accept the lie for now. She also had faith he would be okay, eventually.

Mills texted Gabby and wasn't the least bit surprised to find she was with Casey, again. Severide had taken a bad turn and Shay needed them at the hospital. Well, he needed to get to the hospital too. Not to see Gabby, but to talk to his future lieutenant.

"Gabby." Mills wrapped his arms around her tight, hugging for a couple seconds too long. Casey watched uncomfortably clearing his throat. Shay had nothing for this young man. She was no longer angry, waste of time she decided. Kelly needed her full attention.

"Lieutenant," Mills said shaking Casey's hand. Then he turned to Shay. "Shay, can we talk?" He motioned to some chairs in the ICU waiting room and waited for her to follow. She didn't have the energy for this, but she could see that Mills needed to tell her something. For all her toughness, Shay couldn't deny him.

"Mills, you don't need to say anything. I'm not mad at you. I was just out of control when Kelly was brought in and I totally took it out on you." Shay hoped that would be enough because she really had nothing left.

"No. You were right. It's taken me these past few days to realize it or accept it, but you were totally right. I was going on some sort of gut feeling that I was going to haul Severide out of there on adrenaline. It was stupid and this is all my fault. I should have," Mill's voice broke as Shay brought him in and held him tight. They were both crying, letting go of built up resentments and anger.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Severide. Your husband is awake and asking for you," said a nurse not wanting to interrupt.

"Geesh, they still think I'm 'the wife.' Haha. Kelly's going to laugh his ass off about that one," said Shay smiling at the good news. He was awake already. "I'll tell him to quit scaring us and just get better." Shay headed to her roommate afraid of the optimism she was feeling, knowing he was awake and apparently speaking.

The three were left in an awkward little huddle not knowing what to say. "I'm staying. I need to talk to Lieutenant Severide." Mills broke the silence and looked at the other two.

"I've got to get back to the station." Casey said giving Dawson a quick squeeze of the arm.

Gabby gave Mills a peck on the cheek and said, "I've got to get back too. Pete, come over for dinner, okay? Casey, can I get a ride back?" Mills watched as the two walked out of the waiting room looking more like a couple than just friends. He would wait as long as it took. He had to see Severide.

* * *

Shay walked over to Kelly and kissed his forehead. "Hey, gorgeous," he said with a broad grin on his face. She had to admit, he looked more like Kelly now than any other time in this room. The antibiotics were doing the trick.

"I leave for one minute and you pull this crap to get me back," Shay teased stroking that tiny patch of gray hair that seemed to drive women crazy. "How do you feel? Really?" Shay's look pulled at Kelly's heart.

"Honestly, like shit. But for the first time I feel like I am going to walk out of this hospital. I hurt everywhere, but I can breathe, and think, and talk to you. I am going to be okay." Kelly said that last part as fact. He was going to be okay.

Shay buried her head into the crook of his neck and just felt his breathing. He wrapped his uninjured arm around her as best he could and the friends stayed like that for minutes.

"I hate to tell you this," said Shay breaking the peace, "but Peter Mills is outside and I think he really needs to talk to you."

"Ugh," groaned Kelly. "I only want to see you. Let's get this over with."

Mills hesitantly came in smiling wanly, walking directly to Kelly's side. "Hi lieutenant. You look good."

Kelly laughed a little regretting it the minute he started. "That's a good one, Mills. Why aren't you back at the station working your ass off to make squad?" Kelly asked the candidate trying to stay alert.

"Boden sort of suspended me after I screwed up. Lieutenant, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't listen. I thought I knew better and obviously I did not." Mills hung his head and couldn't look Kelly in the face.

"Mills, I swear to God, if you cry, I am going to drop dead right now and you can deal with the wrath of Shay on you!" Kelly was mustering a little enthusiasm. Just keep going he told himself.

"You will be on squad. I one hundred percent guarantee it. It may not be as quickly as you or I like, but it will happen. This is probably Boden's lame ass attempt at saving my record or something." Kelly knew he only had a few sentences left in him. "Did your instincts tell you what to do?"

"Yes."

"Squad goes on instinct. With more training, your instincts will be right next time. Truck weighs the situation,evaluates...on squad we usually don't have the time. We go on instinct. Now, get the hell out of here and demand your job back from Boden. Don't take no, just do it."

Mills was smiling. Not so much from the speech but because Severide looked like Severide and sounded like Severide. Thank God I didn't kill him. Mills was practically beaming when he hugged Shay and headed out the door, head held high.

Yes, Kelly has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She walked back into his room knowing she would be in this man's life forever. She didn't want to think about him not being there, but this accident forced the thought to her mind. What if he had died? She didn't know how she would have faced it.

Kelly was sleeping peacefully which made her smile. She gave him a kiss on the forehead, then another on the cheek. He was really beautiful, she thought staring at his face. Even a lesbian could appreciate that. Clarice used to say it all the time. She often asked Shay if there was ever any temptation. Shay always laughed and said, "Clarice, you know I'm gay. Kelly and I are just friends." Clarice had her doubts because she could picture being attracted to a man, had been attracted to a man. Shay had reassured her but every once in a while she would ask again.

Shay plopped into the familiar chair and settled in for the night. Her roommate was going to be back. She knew he would be back.

Kelly was moved out of ICU and everyone could breathe a sigh of relief. The firehouse was a little more lively even Boden was in a good mood. Dawson knew the next step in Kelly's recovery involved Shay. She had to get her friend back to work.

Kelly was on board and confidently said he would get Shay back to daily life. He was not going to have her babysitting him for one more day. The thought of Shay putting her life on hold was killing him.

Shay bounded into his room all smiles and a plate of homemade sugar cookies from Mills' mom. The doctor okayed Kelly eating a small amount of this sweet treat and Shay couldn't wait to see his reaction.

"Look what I have!" Shay was waving the plate around and Kelly couldn't help but laugh. She took one out and held it to his lips. He took a small bite and thought it was a little bit of heaven in his mouth.

"You are a nut." Kelly stuffed his mouth and reached for another.

"Yeah, but I'm you're nut!" Shay brushed his hand aside. "The doctor said you need to start slowly."

"Hey, good news today. Doc says I can start rehab on my leg in a couple of days. He said crap like miracle and amazing, but I told him I was scared you'd kick my ass if I died." A wide grin spread across Kelly's face and he had that devilish look in his eyes.

"So, now it's time for you to get out of this place and get back to work." Kelly looked at Shay the teasing gone. "And I promise I'll follow you. It's just gonna take me a little while longer."

"But I can help you with the rehab and someone needs to make sure the nurses don't fight over who's giving you a sponge bath," Shay wasn't ready to give in.

"Shay, I seriously think you pulled me through this. I am not kidding. I could tell you were here. But I am going to lose it if I think you are wasting one more day in this place. I've talked to Boden and you're going back to work on Monday."

Shay leaned over Kelly and kissed his forehead, his cheek, but stopped short of his lips. "You know how much I love you," she said simply.

"You know how much I love you," Kelly answered. "That's why you are going back to the station."

Shay didn't know why she was crying. It just felt like the right thing to do.

* * *

Heading back to work felt strange and new like she was starting a new job. When she walked into the station that feeling immediately disappeared. Everyone was in the front to greet her with a huge sign saying, "Welcome Back, Mrs. Severide."

"Haha. Very funny. Thanks a lot friend," said Shay looking at Dawson.

"How's our hero doing?" asked Mouch as he hugged Shay tightly.

"He is working his ass off to get back here. He's looking so much better and I think he's ready for visitors." Shay knew Kelly was going to be mad as hell at her. He didn't want a stream of people seeing him lying in a hospital bed but too bad. The men needed to see him. He needed to see them. They were family.

* * *

"Shay, if one more person walks through that door, I am going to," began Kelly scowling.

"Okay, grumpy. Your friends needed to see you. You need to see them. You have to be sick of seeing me. Seriously, how was rehab? Your leg?" Shay was pulling back the sheet, looking at his leg, lifting his gown a little more.

"Hey! Cut it out! It went just great. I'm officially a weak ass invalid who can barely walk." Kelly was yanking down on the sheet, pushing her hand away.

Okay, now I know the real reason for the grumpiness, thought Shay. "You almost died, Kelly. It's going to be a while before..."

"If one more person says I almost died, I think I will die! I know! I was there. I can barely get my ass out of bed." Kelly closed his eyes tight. Shay knew he was in physical pain, but now it looked like the emotion toll was beginning to surface, realizations of how close death came.

"It's going to be awhile before you are leaping tall buildings in a single bound." Shay tried, but not even a smile from Kelly. "Hey, I love you. Look at me. I love you and we'll get through this. You will be one hundred percent back. I promise."

Kelly opened his eyes. "I'm just a grumpy, impatient ass. I know I should feel grateful, but I can't help but feel pissed. I want to get out of here. I want to go to work." Shay's heart was breaking for her best friend. There was nothing she could do but love him and that didn't seem like nearly enough. Kelly was on the road to recovery physically, but Shay could feel that road was about to hit some roadblocks. She prayed for tiny bumps only. His eyes were closed but his look was far from peaceful. There was a deep wrinkle between his brows. She bent over, kissed his forehead and began stroking his hair. The scowl lessened, but wouldn't completely disappear.

"Sorry for my bitching," Kelly whispered, eyes still closed.

"It's how I know you'll be okay," whispered Shay back. Kelly smiled, eyes still closed.

"Promise?"

"I promise," answered Shay still looking at that scowl that just wouldn't go away.


	6. Chapter 6

Kelly saw no one except Shay his last four days in the hospital. Not Casey, not Dawson, and not even Chief Boden.

"Shay, what is up with Kelly?" asked Dawson as the end of their shift grew near. "I thought you said he was getting better. He wouldn't even see me and I brought arroz con pollo. If he turns down that dish, I know something is seriously wrong with our boy," Dawson was looking at her friend concern in her eyes despite the joke about her famous dish.

"Yeah he's not progressing like he wants. He can't force his body to do what he wants. This is the man who was supposed to be out recovering from neck surgery for a year and ended up back on shift within two months. There is no miracle this time...and he's just not handling it well." Shay was worried and felt completely helpless. "The hardest thing is," tears began filling up her eyes, "that NOTHING I say or do seems to help. He barely talks to me."

Dawson hugged her friend trying to reassure her. "Kelly is nothing if not tough. He's kind of a badass. He doesn't take no for an answer. If his body is saying no, he won't accept that. I know him too. His rehab must be at a difficult point. He'll get through."

"He wants everyone to think he's a badass, but you and I know different. Ass on the outside, softie on the inside. He did tell me once that if I spread that rumor, he would have to kill me." Shay smiled at the memory and wished her best friend would get back to their normal back and forth, joking, talking about anything, everything.

"Hey, he'll be fine. Give it some time." Dawson paused not sure if she should continue. What the hell. "And I have a great idea. You are going out with all of us tonight for one beer. Just one. You need to get away and laugh and listen to the guys bust each other's balls and tell their ridiculous stories and watch Otis strike out again," they were laughing now and Shay realized that her friend was right. She needed to laugh and have fun and worst of all, to get away from her best friend for a while.

"Okay, just one beer. Maybe two, after all when have I ever stopped at one?" Shay was smiling now looking forward to her night.

Dawson insisted on driving Shay home after way more than two beers. They were laughing as they burst through the door expecting to see Kelly on the couch waiting up.

"Hello, grumpy pants!" yelled Shay as Dawson tried to shush her. "Where are you lieutenant?" called out Shay loudly heading for Kelly's room.

"Wait, Leslie. Here's a note, from Kelly to you." Dawson handed Shay a piece of paper with very little writing on it.

"Shay- going to my dad's. You've put up with my shit long enough. I'll see you in a few weeks when I'm all good. Need to get my head straight. Love you, Kelly"

"No, no, no! Benny is class A jackass! He is not going to help Kel. He's going to say crap like 'man up' and 'suck it up.' That is not what Kelly needs right now. You are driving me over there right now and we are getting my guy back!" Shay barely took a breath and was heading out the door.

"You are drunk and saying words I never thought would come out of your mouth like 'my guy.' There is no way we are going anywhere tonight. Tomorrow. I'll come with you tomorrow." Dawson agreed that Benny was the last thing Kelly needed right now. She had an idea on what he did need, but that would mean talking to Hallie before retrieving "their guy" in the morning. Yes, she would spend the night, see Hallie, and drag Kelly back. Sounds like a plan.

Shay knocked on Benny's door three times hand shaking a little. No response. She knocked again. Nothing. She rang the doorbell. Nothing.

"He's got to be in there, right?" asked Shay. "Why isn't Benny answering?"

"Because he's an ass and probably left Kelly by himself. He's probably off fishing or hunting or doing some manly thing and thinks that Kelly is fine." The aggravation in Dawson's voice was more than apparent.

"And THIS is why we are such good friends." Shay said happy that her partner voiced all of her thoughts in two sentences. She watched in awe as Dawson surveyed the house checking the windows and found one unlocked.

They were in the house in seconds and felt like they were committing some kind of felony.

"Kelly! We are here to rescue you," Shay called out, hoping to diffuse the argument she knew was coming. "Kelly," she said seeing her best friend sitting on the couch drinking a beer.

"I just asked for a little time. You can't give me one day let alone one or two weeks?" Kelly was looking at his beer bottle not able to look at Shay's face.

"You can't get your ass off the couch and answer the door?" asked Shay not really sure where this anger was coming from.

"No, Shay, I can't. Everything hurts. My leg is screwed up and the more I do the exercises they gave me, the more I hurt. I can barely take a piss right now, so I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt because I didn't answer the door."

Dawson stood silent in the corner of the room not liking where this was heading. She didn't know if she should say something, do something, or just stay frozen watching this train wreck occur.

Shay shook her head and stormed out the front door slamming it loudly. No choice, time to say something. Dawson walked to the couch and sat next to Kelly looking at him and grabbing his hand. He was shocked at her touch and pulled away anger in his face. She grabbed his hand tighter...she had to get through somehow.

"Kelly, I am going to say this to you not to make you feel like shit, but because I love you and I love Shay. What happened to you is not right, not fair. You hurting like this is not right, I know that." Dawson took a breath. It was a good sign that Kelly wasn't interrupting and the anger was gone from his eyes. "But...it did happen. You are going to keep going with your rehab and get better. You are going to hurt less and less. I know this. Where you are not going to get better without help is up here." Dawson tapped Kelly's forehead lightly waiting for am explosion. It didn't come. Now for the part she was dreading. "I talked to Hallie today and she has a friend who is a psychologist. A good friend. I want you to talk to her." Dawson didn't add that Shay needed him back. He knew.

Kelly took the card from Dawson and hugged her. "I know I'm going crazy. I know I'm going to lose everything if I don't do something. Take care of Shay." Dawson was crying now, damn tears, shaking her head yes.

"You've been crazy for a long time," she managed to say on her way out.

Shay didn't say anything about Dawson's tears, didn't ask anything, didn't say a word until they were back at the apartment.

"What the hell is wrong with me? I feel so...mad at him. Like this is his fault. What is wrong with me?" Shay repeated her question looking at Dawson for an answer.  
"Nothing's wrong with you. Kelly is not the only one who's been through hell. You almost lost someone you love. I think you have held up better than I could have," Dawson wanted to make her friend feel better, but knew her words were falling short.

"Why do I feel like I did lose my best friend?" Shay didn't like the taste of those words on her lips.

Kelly made the appointment and immediately thought of canceling the second he hung up the phone. He stared at the card, "Dr. Catherine Pellegrini". The last name sounded like a fancy wine not a real person. He picked up the phone, dialed the number, damn a recording this time. He hung up. I'll cancel later.

Jesus, when did I become such a puss? I can get myself right again, back to normal, I definitely don't need someone's professional help. This was a stupid idea. Damn Dawson and Hallie. Yes, cancel later. Get back to my place now and apologize to Shay, again. Put on a happy face, you can do it.

Kelly got himself a cab and hobbled back to his apartment. Of course, Shay wasn't there. Kelly felt relief, no fake smile to put on, no fake conversation to make Shay feel like everything was back to normal. He sat on the couch, turned on the tv, turned it off a few minutes later.

He texted Shay, "When you coming home? I'm sick of waiting for your ass."

"I get off in three hours. I'm glad you're home. Love you."

Jesus, three hours. Watch more tv, take a shower, that would take a while, make something for dinner, Shay would like that, just fill the time. He had the lingering thought that his appointment was in 45 minutes. He hadn't bothered to cancel. He just wasn't going to show up. She would figure it out.

If he got a cab now, he could still make it. The department was paying for it, no money out of his pocket. No, he wasn't going. Why did he even make that appointment? Kelly continued this internal dialogue for another 5 minutes before he limped outside, got into a cab, and headed to this Pellegrini doctor.

He would have paced if he could have, leg hurt too damn much. He had barely made it on time, but she was in with another patient, at least that's what the sign said on the closed door. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stretched out his legs. He took a deep breath trying to calm down. That hurt too. Damn, why am I so nervous? I feel like I'm picking up a blind date. Kelly got up to make his escape and the door opened, a teenage boy coming out. He hugged the doctor, looked at Kelly briefly and left.

Kelly just stood there looking at this woman not really sure what to do.

"Mr. Severide, come in. I am so sorry I am running a little late. I won't lie to you and say this will be the only time." She had a huge smile on her face and laughed at her own joke. Kelly scanned her up and down trying to decide if he should make a run for it. He had a fake smile planted on his face and limped into her office.

"Why don't you pick a chair and I'll sit across from wherever you choose." Her voice had a soft richness to it, comforting, perfect for a shrink noted Kelly.

Kelly picked a chair and she plopped in one directly across. She didn't have a notepad and there wasn't a couch in the office, not what he expected.

"What would you like me to call you? Mr. Severide? Lieutenant?"

Kelly just sat there looking at her not really knowing. Why did she have to call him anything? This would be a one time visit. Finally, he said, "Kelly."

"He speaks! Yay!" She was laughing at her own joke again, and Kelly found himself smiling for real this time. "Well, call me Cate if I'm calling you Kelly. Okay?"

Kelly shook his head yes.

"Tell me a little about yourself. Lets start there. Does that sound okay?"

Kelly shook his head yes again and realized he was supposed to start talking.

"I'm lieutenant of squad at firehouse 51. I like it. Its kind of my life. That's about it." Kelly looked down knowing this was probably not what she was looking for.

"What about your personal life? Married? Children? What's going on there? Most people who come see me want to talk about the personal not their jobs." Cate was looking at Kelly and it made him uncomfortable.

"No wife, no kids. Good friends, at the station. They are really my family I guess you could say." Kelly knew his short answers must be frustrating to this lady who made her living out of getting people to spill every detail of their lives probably while snot crying. No, he was not one of those people.

"Are you having a hard time at work? Is that why you wanted to see me?" She was still smiling. It looked genuine, but she also had a quizzical look other face now.

"Let's cut the bullshit. I know Hallie probably told you everything, so that's why I'm here. Yes, it was a terrible accident. Yes, I survived. I'm fine. I don't know why I called." Kelly got up to leave so mad at this woman who had been nothing but warm, and polite, and all smiles. That made him even madder.

"Whoa. Hallie called me and said she hoped her friend Severide would call, but that's it. I don't know about an accident or anything. What you say here will not leave this room. Hallie and I are close friends but we never discuss my patients " The smile was gone replaced by a passion.

Great, now I've pissed off the doctor. "I'm sorry. I'm not myself. I'm going to leave and were going to pretend I never came. You don't have to tell Hallie that her friend is an ass because I was never here." Kelly tried grinning to alleviate the tension but Cate was not biting

"Just sit," commanded the doctor. "We are starting again and you are going to tell me about this accident. You have 45 more minutes and I feel like I'm ripping off the CFD if you don't use it. Can we do that?"

Kelly didn't understand why, but he told the story. The whole story, The fire, the smoke, the missing kid, the not missing kid, the candidate, the not letting him go, the falling through the floor, the pain, the thinking he was dead, Shay, his dad. It was all out. Cate didn't say one word through the whole thing. Her eyes grew wider at some points, narrower at other points, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Unbelievable," she finally said. "You are going to be okay. Can we just get that out there from the start. You are going to be okay. You said earlier when you tried to bail on me that you aren't yourself. I'm sure you're not. You will be. You are going to see me once a week. You owe that to yourself. Can you agree to that?"

Kelly nodded his head yes, knowing he would never be back in this office. They shook hands and Cate pulled out a calendar from a desk drawer.

"Let's book the next couple of weeks to get things rolling." She opened to next week wrote down a date and time, gave Kelly a business card with the same information on it, and smiled knowing she had kind of won. She knew he would call and try to cancel, she wouldn't pick up and he would feel obligated to come. She decided she would help fix this broken firefighter.

When Kelly got home, Shay was there waiting.

"Hey, I got off shift early. You okay?" She eyed him suspiciously, but glad he was back in their apartment.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I had an appointment. I'm really sorry for all the crap. I actually saw someone today, like a shrink or something. Ummm... You won't have to listen to me bitch anymore. She gets paid to do that." Kelly chuckled not knowing why he just admitted all that to Shay. He wasn't going to tell anyone about this.

"Kelly, I guess that's good if you think it helps." Shay couldn't believe Kelly was seeing a psychologist. She always thought they told each other everything; they didn't need someone else. Why was she so upset about this? Shay thought she was all that Kelly needed. Maybe not.

Kelly went to the small brownstone for his next appointment and smiled when he saw the sign on the door again. He paced this time, leg feeling better. That week of rehab was like getting over a hump, he could do more this week than he had since his recovery began. He also slept laying down all night for the first time since getting out of the hospital. His ribs, chest,and everything inside was feeling a little better. He usually had to get up around midnight and sleep in a chair to alleviate the pain. This was the first week that sunlight woke him, not a throbbing in his ribs.

An elderly woman came out, hugged Cate and smiled at Kelly as she left.

"So we never get over our issues," said Kelly going for the same chair as last week.

"He jokes," said Cate smiling and plopping in another chair across from Kelly. "You look much better than last week. Good week?"

"Better week. My leg works better, my chest is not killing me, much better week." Kelly was smiling wondering what they would talk about.

"I have a couple of ideas of what we could address. You pick. Okay?" Cate had a pad in her hand this week. Must be too intimidating for the first visit thought Kelly. Now she can start writing down all his areas of crazy.

"Your job or your family. Pick one."

"Easy choice," laughed Kelly. "Job, definitely job. It makes me much happier, less complicated."

The hour flew by as Kelly talked about why he became a firefighter, becoming the youngest person on squad, the challenges, the highs you get from saving lives, the lows from failing to save someone. Kelly also found himself talking about Andy's death, his own almost death, facing his own death, coming so close. This lady was good, thought Kelly. She says talk about your job and I'm telling her things I tell no one. Well, no one but Shay.

He was laughing as she wrote out a reminder for his next visit.

"And what is so funny?" asked Cate handing Kelly the card.

"You are good. I think I'll be crying in a ball on the floor by the next visit," he joked.

"No, my limit is ball crying. Anyways I don't think you have that in you. Hey, I do want to say that in two visits you are making great progress. You are going to be yourself again, soon." Cate knew she was right.  
"I do believe you doctor," said Kelly shaking Cate's hand and smiling. "See you next week."

Kelly went back for three more visits. They talked about family, one whole session talking about Leslie Shay, death, the possibility of HIS death, Renee #1 and Renee #2, Benny, mom, anything and everything. He had to admit that she was easy to talk to, funny, and didn't push too much. She had little suggestions that seemed more like common sense, but they helped on the bad days.

It also helped that his leg was getting back to normal. He wasn't running marathons, but he was running. Boden was letting him do paperwork at the station and being around the guys was was easing Kelly back to normalcy.

Shay had her friend back. They fell into their routine of late night talks and movies and snacks and falling asleep on the couch. Shay was more touchy feely than ever, hugging Kelly, snuggling on the couch. She knew how close she came to losing him. Being physically close made her feel like that would never happen again.

"Hey, movie night tonight, but at the theater, not here. Okay?" Kelly shouted down the stairs. He had just gotten out of the shower and felt good. He saw Cate earlier in the day for a session and was happy. Weird, he felt happy. Cate told him he was almost free from her and she would be dumping him in a couple of weeks. He had joked that he didn't want to be dumped.

Shay put a little effort into her appearance and actually wore a little makeup. They hadn't gone anywhere after work in a long while. This was a special occasion she decided.

As they walked up to the theater, Kelly's face lit up. A couple was walking out, hand in hand. Beautiful brunette, tall, legs that went on forever, big brown eyes, with a much younger man. God, was he even 21? They were hand in hand.

"Cate!" yelled Kelly, grabbing Shay's hand tighter while leading her to the couple. He had a huge smile on his face.

"He goes to the movies," said this Cate person. Apparently, this was some inside joke because the two of them were laughing. Shay felt her face form a somewhat smile she was sure looked hideous, but she didn't like this feeling of outsider.

"Leslie Shay, this is Dr. Catherine Pellegrini, my shrink," said Kelly enthusiastically waiting to be introduced to the young stud on the doctor's arm.

"Leslie, so nice to meet you! Kelly has only the best things to say about you. I am so glad we ran into each other. Oh, I'm sorry! This is my son, Connor." said Cate looking at the young man with obvious pride letting go of his hand so that he could shake hands with Kelly and Shay.

"Nice to meet you," Shay began, "I'm afraid he doesn't say anything about what you two talk about so you've got one up on me. I didn't even know your name was Cate." There, no question on who the outsider was now.

A grey haired man who looked like he could be Cate's father came running out of the theater. "Sorry! I got it!" he said laughing holding up a credit card.

"Jim, these are some friends, Kelly and Leslie. This is my husband, Jim Griffith." Cate was smiling at Kelly and Shay, not acknowledging any snub.

"Nice to meet you. Hey, if you're going to see that new G.I. Joe movie, skip it. Not worth the money," said Jim extending his hand.

"Don't listen to him!" said Connor. "He thinks if it doesn't have Clint Eastwood in it, it's not good."

"Well, we're heading for ice cream where I will have to listen to them incessantly argue about this movie. I will nod my head and act interested," Cate added in a low voice pretending they couldn't hear.

"Hey, is that what you do in my sessions?" asked Kelly with a scowl on his face.

"What, never!" Cate said while nodding her head yes. They were laughing again, sharing another moment. This time Shay tried to join in, laughing along. She was sure her laugh sounded like she was coughing up a hairball. The quizzical look on Kelly's face was confirmation.

"Wow, that was awkward," said Shay as soon as they were out of earshot.

"You think?" asked Kelly looking at his friend, wanting her to explain.

"Well, you kind of never told me your shrink was gorgeous. You actually never talk about her, but you obviously have this thing- whatever it is. And I thought her son was her date at first. Then her husband shows up and he's old as dirt. Just awkward." Shay looked at Kelly regretting every word as soon as each one left her mouth.

"Jesus, you can be such a bitch, Shay. Let's just see the damn movie, not talk about anything, go home, wake up tomorrow and pretend this conversation never happened." Kelly stormed in the theater, bought the tickets, and didn't talk to her the rest of the night as promised.

Kelly went to his appointment, Wednesday as usual, but this time felt different. He knew he only had one more session after this one. The thought left him sad.

No sign on the door. He knocked and Cate came out to greet him, usual smile on her face.

"Kelly, I see you twice in one week... a first for us," she said laughing. "How are you?" Her usual beginning question.

"Good, great! Leg nearly 100%. Back on squad next week - light duty, but I get to ride along and get my hands duty. I can't wait." Kelly looked like a little kid getting ready for his first peewee game and Cate couldn't help but laugh.

"You are laughing AT me and I don't appreciate it," Kelly tried to look mad, but it just wasn't happening. "Hey, and with me going back on shift I think I should keep seeing you. Just in case I have any issues."

"We already agreed. This and one more session. You really don't even need these two. You are YOU again. I am so proud of you," Cate lost her smile thinking of not seeing this patient again.

"All thanks to you," said Kelly softly.

"All thanks to you," said Cate laughing again. "This was the easiest case I've had in years. I knew you were going to get physically better. It was inevitable. I knew the emotional would logically follow. I did nothing except watch you go through rehab and get physically strong again. You have to realize that I have patients who hear little voices telling them to do bad things."

"You mean I should have started with the little voices? I thought you wanted to hear about my family," Kelly was laughing, but knew Cate wasn't going to extend his visits.

"Seriously, I do want to talk about one thing. Something for these last two visits. Something you can deal with after I've kicked you out of here." It was Cate requesting a topic. This was a new one.

"Leslie did not seem happy to meet me the other night. She was acting a little like a jealous girlfriend and it's something I want you to think about. We have talked about Leslie many times and I've asked you to think about what you both want from your relationship. What are you thinking?" Cate was looking at Kelly waiting patiently for a response as always.

"You've mentioned a bunch of things right there. Ummm, it was weird, I agree. Shay was not herself. She was mad that you knew about her and she didn't know much about you. She was even mad that you're gorgeous," Kelly laughed a little and continued. "As far as our relationship, we are best friends. She knows more about me than anyone else. I get that you think there's something more, but like I have told you, she's gay..100%, not bi, not confused, she's gay."

"Kelly, I would say that one third of my patients come to me because of sexual orientation issues. People are not always just one thing and they're not always the label they've given themselves. Consider this homework. Reflect on what Shay is to you and what you are to her. I do know how much you love reflecting on things. And I want a written reflection turned in to me at our last visit. Consider it a goodbye present." She was smiling and knew Kelly could not say no.

"Ugh, you are kidding me. Then I get to ask you something. What's the deal with you and your husband?" Kelly wanted to know her story and he felt like he was running out of time.

"Do you mean our fairy tale story of how we fell in love or could you be referring to our rather large age difference?" Cate asked feigning innocence.

"Don't be a smart ass. I want to know. What's your story?"

"I was 18. He was my professor. He was 33 and hot and every girl took his class hoping to land him and I did. Also, it's a 15 year age difference. I just look good for my age. Next question?" Cate looked uncomfortable but was trying hard to be flippant.

"Do you ever regret marrying someone so much older? I only ask because Shay and I thought Connor was your date. You really do look good." Kelly knew he was treading in the really personal zone, but he thought what the hell. She knows so much about me.

"That's a trick question, so I'll give you a trick answer. Yes and no. Yes, and then I look at Connor and then it's no." Cate's honesty was shocking even to herself. "And now we are 15 minutes over so one of my patients is staring at that sign, quickly losing his or her patience." She smiled at her quip but also thought sadly that she would see this patient just one more time.

She opened her door and reached out her hand, their customary way of saying goodbye. Kelly went in for a hug this time. Hell, all her other patients do it he thought.

He wasn't letting go. There was no one waiting so what did it matter. Cate wasn't letting go either. Jesus, he smelled good. She pulled away, looking at his face ready to say goodbye and release him. Jesus, he looked good.

He had wanted to touch her hair from the third visit. Yes, it was the third visit when he noticed Cate's hair. That was when he first thought of touching it. Would it feel as soft as he hoped? Yes, it did. It was the fourth visit when he realized how beautiful she was. Confirmed by Shay at the theater. It wasn't until the fifth visit that he noticed how wicked smart she was and how funny. God, he must have been a wreck not to have seen all this from visit one.

They were back in her office, door locked, mouths pressed hard against each other wanting more, becoming more desperate with each kiss. Cate's hands were down his pants moving up trying to unbutton his jeans. Kelly's hands were also busy unbuttoning the thousand buttons trailing down her blouse. Her pencil skirt fell to the floor seconds earlier. He finally ripped the buttons and threw the blouse to the floor. Bra gone. Just panties now. Kelly was glad to see his leg wasn't the only thing fully healed. Everything on his body was fully functioning now.

Cate was shocked at the criss cross of stitching across Kelly's chest. She heard the story of his injuries but seeing the aftermath hurt. She kissed above and below his injuries, going further down with every nibble. She pulled him to the floor and their mouths found each other again. Each kiss a little deeper, more intense, almost to the point of pain, but then Kelly's mouth went softer, more gentle.

Kelly's hands were on a slow journey down her back stopping at Cate's ass squeezing tightly. Cate let out a moan, feeling a passion long forgotten. Each second of Kelly's touch was an exquisite torture, almost too much. She was completely his at this moment and he was completely hers.

"Cate," he called out holding her in tighter. He finally let go and she rolled onto the floor next to him. They were breathing hard, panting, a thin sheen of sweat on both their bodies.

The soft knock at the door brought them back to reality. They looked at each other, eyes wide open, both thinking "Oh, shit."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the kind reviews and for those who are sticking with the story. Love your reactions to what I've come up with and the suggestions I've received. I recently finished Crystal Clear, so check it out if you haven't already. **

* * *

Kelly hadn't spoken to Cate since his "visit" last week when she put on his shirt and faked an illness to get rid of her next patient...an elderly woman who didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.

Kelly had made a quick exit and Cate hadn't stopped him. It was now a week later, time for his last session.

He nervously approached the door to Cate's office and didn't know what he would say or do, what she would say or do. No sign on the door. He knocked softly.

"Kelly, I didn't know if you would show today. I'm glad you did." Cate smiled nervously and motioned for him to come in. Kelly dropped into the same chair as always.

"You thought I wouldn't show? After what happened," Kelly began. "I'm an ass for not calling." Kelly said simply.

"No, I'm the ass," said Cate. "I am not only a cheating wife, but I should lose my license for taking advantage of a patient. The worst part," continued Cate looking directly at Kelly. "Is that I don't regret what I did."

"I don't think anyone has ever been accused of taking advantage of ME," laughed Kelly. "I don't regret it either. Not one damn bit."

"Oh, lieutenant, another place, another time, another universe..." Cate dropped her gaze.

Kelly got up and went to Cate wrapping his arms around her. They hugged for a long time. He didn't want to let go.

"Why does it have to be another time, another place? What's wrong with right now?" Kelly's grin was full of hope wishing for more than this woman could give.

"Because neither of us is the type for this kind of relationship. You know what it's like to be cheated on. I am married." There, it was said with a finality that couldn't be argued with.

"So this really is the last time I'm gonna see you?" Kelly knew the answer, but he had to hear it. The thought of not seeing Cate again felt wrong, more wrong than what they did.

"Yes. I hate saying that. You have no idea how much. I wish things could be different." Do not let yourself cry, thought Cate.

"Yeah, me too. Everything you say makes sense, but I don't care about all that. When have I ever cared about what makes sense?" Kelly let go of Cate and just looked at her trying to memorize her face.

"You are going to make me kick you out of here aren't you?" Cate held Kelly's face in her hands as if reprimanding a young child.

"Yep," Kelly put a hand on the back of Cate's neck and drew her in. They kissed softly at first then harder, more desperate, with a need to not let go.

Cate pulled away gently. She wrapped her arms around Kelly and hugged him one last time.

"You be careful, take care of yourself for once." Cate led the way to her door.

"Damn, I don't wanna leave," Kelly didn't want to say this goodbye. "I'm gonna miss you."

Cate kissed him one last time and walked him out of her office. As Kelly closed the door to her waiting area, he felt like he would never see her again.

Cate walked back into her office, closed her door, resting her head on the door frame.

"I'm going to miss you so much too, lieutenant." Cate let the tears flow, tears for what could have been, tears for what she wished would have been.

The homework Cate gave Kelly was forgotten almost as soon as it was assigned. Kelly was consumed with thoughts of his therapist, not his best friend.

"Why have you been so grumpy? I thought Boden was gonna let you get back to squad full force, not half assed?" Shay didn't like that Kelly seemed mad all the time...depression gone but now he just seemed pissed.

"Yeah... so. It's about damn time." Kelly couldn't talk to Shay about Cate. The way she reacted to her at the movies, Kelly knew that conversation was off limits.

"I don't know what I've done to you except be the most supportive friend ever, but your pissy attitude is getting old." Shay had enough and wanted her best friend back. "I'm going to the station."

"Shay, wait." Kelly watched the door slam shut. He knew Shay was right, but wasn't able to shake the anger he felt at losing someone he never really had. He realized he would get over it. He'd gotten over worse, just needed time.

Kelly knew Shay deserved better. He promised himself he'd do better. Back on shift, back to being a fireman, that's what he needed.

Kelly headed for the station, ready to be squad's leader again. Yes, work would do him good he thought.

Everyone at the firehouse knew he was back today, back as lieutenant of squad. As Kelly entered, there were plenty of hugs, handshakes, pats on the back.

"Severide, welcome back." Chief Boden moved Kelly's hand aside to give him a hug instead. "It hasn't felt right around here. It feels right now. Glad you made it back...I knew you would." It was more than Boden wanted to say, but he felt it had to be said. He was aware of how close he came to having to find another leader of squad.

"It's about damn time. Shay's been a real pain in the ass with you gone. Welcome back to full duty. No more slacking." Mouch shook Kelly's hand and gave him a couple of pats on the back.

"Yeah, she's been a mess. We all have. Glad you're back, Severide." Hermann hugged Kelly glad to have the lieutenant back.

Cruz, Otis, Hadley, and Capp all greeted Kelly making him even more uncomfortable. These were good friends, but all the attention was unnerving. He'd been back for a while, but everyone knew this was a big day - back on squad, no limitations.

Mills was more than excited to have Kelly back on squad. His guilt had lifted, replaced by a little hero worship. He gave Kelly a hug, no words seemed enough.

"Alright ladies, don't make me regret coming back. You all are getting soft in your old age," laughed Kelly ready for everyone to get back to work. "Hey, where is Shay?"

"Dawson and her had a run. Possible heart attack," Mouch was back at his paper. Things were returning to normal.

"Hey! Sorry, I was taking a shower," said Casey smiling, coming in from the back, hair still wet. "You look good."

"Feel great. Ready to get off my ass and do some real work." Kelly hugged his friend knowing how much he'd done for him.

"I didn't want to say anything, but...yeah, you've milked this thing for way too long." Casey was glad to have his friend back, but before he could enjoy the moment too much the sound of the alarm rang out.

The scene looked like something out of a movie...three cars entangled in such a way it was hard to see where one began and the other one ended.

Shit, thought Kelly surveying the scene, probable fatalities. He was hoping for a simple fire, one alarm, maybe a dog to save. No such luck.

Kelly rushed to the first car and could see part of a middle aged woman through the driver's side window. He could see the side of her head smashed in from the impact, eyes open, so much blood. He ran to where the second car began, twisted under the first car. He wasn't expecting anyone alive in this one either, but as he neared what used to be the front windshield, he heard a loud groan.

"Someone's alive in here!" Kelly yelled to his team. He barked out instructions and within seconds he was cutting through the front window, revealing a woman hunched in a ball in a small pocket of her car that hadn't been twisted like putty.

Shay and Dawson were on the scene now waiting for some sign of life that they could work on. This was it.

The paramedics rushed to Kelly's side and began stabilizing the woman. She had a few broken bones, head wound, looked pretty banged up, but would be okay. Looking at the mangled mess of metal, it was a miracle she was intact. They got her on a backboard and rushed her to the ambulance.

Casey had been trying to get into car number three while Kelly was helping with this victim. It was the least damaged of the vehicles, but he could see no one in the car. The front windshield was broken out. Not good, the driver, the passengers could have gone straight through the front. What Casey saw next sent a shudder through his body. There, in the back, was a carseat.

"Severide! Get over here!" Casey yelled, worry written all over his face.

Kelly almost stumbled running to his friend not liking the tone he heard.

"Shit," was all he could say when he saw the baby seat. The two lieutenants were calling out orders to their men having them fan out to find any victims from this car.

There was a small barricade about 25 feet from the wreckage. Kelly and Matt saw it at the same time and looked at each other. They ran to the area knowing someone could have landed back there with no one seeing.

As they grew closer, they could hear a soft whimpering. A man in his thirties was lying in a pool of blood behind several orange barricade barrels. He was conscious despite a serious injury to his head. Matt worked on him while Kelly swept the area praying he would find no one else.

"Severide! No one else in the car! He was alone!" Matt called out relieved that there had been no baby in that carseat. The man could answer simple questions and seemed remarkably alert for someone who flew through a windshield.

Dawson and Shay had left with their victim, so another paramedic team took care of this victim. They were also amazed that he looked like he would survive.

"Good job , lieutenants," said Boden patting both of them on the back. Kelly was exhausted. He had no idea he was in such bad shape. He was rethinking that original wish for a fire.

Back at the station, Dawson approached Kelly in the locker area with a huge smile on her face. Kelly was hoping for a shower, but it would have to wait.

"Severide, so glad you're back on call not behind a desk. How was it? You okay?" Dawson could tell Kelly was spent.

"Good. Felt good to get back to it. Damn, I've missed it." Kelly sat on a bench resting.

"You okay though?" Dawson wasn't used to seeing Kelly so done after one call.

"Yeah, feeling it a little." said Kelly understating how exhausted he was.

"A little, huh?" laughed Dawson. "Well, I'll leave you alone. Take your shower."

"Thanks, Gabby. For all of it." Kelly wanted to say more, but knew that Dawson understood. She was responsible for him seeing Cate, for getting his head straight. It was something he would never forget. Two times now she'd saved his ass.

Kelly had just gotten in when another alarm rang out.

"You have got to be kidding me." Kelly said to himself grabbing a towel then quickly throwing on his clothes.

Hadley and Capp were yelling at him to hurry as he made his way to the truck.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" He'd grabbed a Gatorade on his way out hoping that would give him a little energy.

"What do we have?" Kelly asked Hadley in the truck.

"Warehouse fire. You okay, Severide?" His team was glad to have him back but they also knew he wasn't back to his normal condition. They were used to him leading the way in with everyone barely able to keep up.

"Yeah, but not 100% yet. Gotta hit the gym, for sure. Just not today," he laughed knowing his 80% would be better than most.

Truck and squad quickly got the blaze under control. Luckily, they got there before it had a chance to eat up much of the warehouse. But if Kelly thought he was exhausted before, he now had a new definition of the word.

He was slumped at the back of the truck, pouring water over his face, sucking in air. He looked up and saw Shay running over to him. He hadn't seen her all day.

"You dropped your phone at the station. Uh, here," she said handing him his phone and turning around.

"What the hell, Shay? I'm fine, in case you were wondering!" Kelly yelled after her.

Shay didn't break her stride. She jumped in the ambulance not looking at Dawson.

"What is up with you? Is Severide okay? He looks like hell." Dawson was waiting for a reply staring at her friend. "Well?"

"I'm done worrying about him. My life has been on hold and now I'm out." Shay wouldn't look up.

"What did he do this time? He's barely been out," started Dawson confused at Shay's anger at her best friend.

"Oh, he's been out! He's back to normal! He slept with THAT woman!" Shay's eyes were on fire.

"What are you talking about? Slow down, WHAT woman?" Dawson was completely confused now.

"His doctor, therapist, whatever she is! That Cate I told you about. I saw a text from her on his phone!" Shay was still muttering words like "asshole" and "unbelievable" while Dawson remained more confused now with the explanation.

"And what's the problem? Did you and Severide elope when I wasn't looking and that's why you're acting like a jealous wife?" Dawson wasn't afraid of calling it like she sees it.

"So you're defending him. After I was by his side through ALL of it." The ambulance pulled into the station and Shay flew out ready to confront Kelly about this "betrayal."

"Where is Severide?" Shay yelled to everyone, but no one in particular.

"Shay, in my office." Boden led the way. "Shut the door."

"I had Casey take him to the hospital. He's fine. He looked like crap, so I wanted him checked out. Casey called and said just dehydration. They're giving him a bag of fluids then he's going home. You go home too."

Shay didn't say anything to anyone. She headed home to face God knew what.

Kelly was on the couch eyes half closed kind of watching some car show when Shay came in. He had seen his text from Cate, saw that it had already been read and put two and two together. Cate had given him the name of another therapist in case he did need to talk to someone again. She had said sorry about what happened four times in the text and also said she was telling her husband. He texted back swearing that if she said sorry again he was going to camp out at her office and never leave. He wished her luck with her family. He meant it.

"So when were you going to tell me that you slept with that woman? You just can't keep it in your pants, can you?! That's why you've been so pissy, isn't it?" Shay was yelling, startling Kelly from his almost sleep.

"Since when do you read my texts? Since when is my sex life your business?" Kelly countered not expecting this. He thought Shay would come in, he would say sorry, she would say sorry, and all would be back to normal. Not this.

"I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to bed." Kelly got up but before he could take two steps Shay was pulling his arm and forcing him to sit back down. His head was now throbbing and he was beyond tired.

"We are gonna talk about this right now! I'm going to have that woman disbarred! You said she helped you. Now I know exactly how!" Shay was out of control and didn't even know why. She felt betrayed, almost cheated on. How could her best friend start a relationship with this woman?

"She's not a lawyer, so I don't think you're getting her disbarred. What the hell, Shay? Do we have a no sex clause I wasn't aware of? Why are you acting like I did something to YOU?" Kelly was confused, exhausted, and didn't want this confrontation.

"I don't know," Shay's eyes were welling up. "I feel like we're in this together and you let her in. I don't know what's wrong with me." She was crying now. Kelly grabbed her head and brought it in to his chest.

There was more to say, but neither friend wanted to talk about any of that right now. Both decided to let the silence linger. They stayed on the couch for a long time and Kelly drifted off finally getting what he wanted...some badly needed rest.

Shay softly moved off the couch carefully letting Kelly stretch out the length of it. She covered him with a blanket and looked at his tired face. He was in the hospital today and she was giving him hell. What is wrong with me, she thought. I need to get on with my life.

The next day Shay went to the station while Kelly stayed home to rest some more. Boden laid down the law. Kelly pushed too hard his first day back. It wouldn't happen again.

Kelly wasn't arguing. He slept a good part of the day, drank plenty of fluids, and thought about his run in with Shay. He finally remembered Cate's homework, a reflection on Shay and what they both wanted from their relationship. He was more confused than ever. What did she want? They had cut their conversation short last night, but he knew they would have to have that talk soon. Maybe tonight.

Shay walked in with a little perk in her step seemingly in a good mood.

"Hi, you!" she said coming over to Kelly before he could get off the couch. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Hey, I was wondering if we could..." Kelly didn't get out his request.

"Um, can we talk later? I've gotta get ready. Hot date! Ha!" Shay was all smiles laughing as she ran up the stairs to her room.

When Shay came down, she looked amazing, truly beautiful, like the night of the Fireman's Banquet. She had on a snug black mini dress with a little shimmer, simple but stunning against her pale skin and blonde hair. She would definitely be noticed tonight. Kelly's mouth dropped open, just the reaction she expected.

"Whadya think?" she asked all wide eyed and innocent.

"Who are you meeting? You haven't mentioned word one about anyone? I thought we could talk about everything," Kelly was trying to control his anger and remain calm, not his natural state.

"Not tonight, I'm late. And don't wait up." Shay kissed Kelly on the cheek and was out the door not answering his question, leaving him confused again.

He would admit it to himself... he WAS jealous. She looked damn good. He told himself any man would feel that way. Who the hell was getting to be with her tonight?

Kelly tried to wait up but fell asleep on the couch. He awoke to the sound of his phone. It was Shay and the time was 1:30 a.m.

"Are you okay?" he answered, worry in his voice...good phone calls didn't come at this hour.

"Yes! Great! I figured you WERE waiting up, so I'm letting you know I won't be home. Go to sleep. See ya tomorrow." Shay hung up not waiting for a reply.

Kelly heard the sound of loud music and laughing in the background. To say he was angry would be an understatement. He swore they would have that talk tomorrow. He also swore a few other things as he turned on the tv knowing that sleep was not coming that night.

Shay strolled in around 5:30, hair a mess, shoes in her hand.

"You never answered me when you ran out of here." Kelly's voice made Shay jump. She wasn't expecting him awake on the couch. She felt a little attacked.

"Kelly, I've got to shower. We both go in today." Shay ran upstairs and shut her bedroom door.

God he looked pissed. Her date was uneventful, a candidate from another station she met on a call. Nice girl, not much personality. Shay had spent the night at Dawson's house swearing her to secrecy. Yes, total high school bullshit. What was she doing, she wondered.

When Shay came down, Kelly had already left for the station. Cut and run she thought, typical Kelly. She had to admit she'd been no better last night. She knew they had to talk before things were said or done that couldn't be forgiven. Tonight. They would talk tonight.

As soon as Kelly got to the station, he was summoned to Boden's office.

"Be straight with me, no bullshit. You okay?" Boden wasn't pulling any punches. If Severide wasn't ready, he would find himself doing paperwork for as long as it took.

"My first day was rough, but, yeah, I'm okay. I'm ready," Kelly was interrupted by the sound of an alarm. He waited for Chief to nod or give him some sign to take off. Boden nodded once and Kelly took off running.

The fire was a small brownstone, blaze only on the first floor.

Kelly jumped out of the truck eyes scanning the scene.

"Severide, you wanna take your men to the back. We'll get the front. Let's meet in the middle." Casey was already running to the front with his team.

"Let's do it! " Kelly busted through the back door and fell flat on his back. Capp and Hadley picked him up looking at each other.

Both teams got the flames under control and by the time they ran into each other the fire was almost out. The last job of breaking up smoldering wood was left to Cruz, Mouch, and Mills.

Kelly and Casey were leaning against the back of a truck, drinking water, trying to cool off.

"You alright?" Casey knew Kelly didn't want to hear it, but he had to ask.

"Yes. I know you're worried, but don't. I'm okay." Kelly was glad their friendship was almost back to where it was before Andy died. It felt good to have Casey watching his back. It felt good to have his friend back.

"I can't think of anyone else who'd be able to make it back, myself included. I don't know how you're doing it," Casey smiled at his friend really eyeballing him, making sure Kelly was okay.

"That's about the dumbest thing I've heard. You probably would've made it back two weeks earlier," Kelly laughed knowing his words were true. "Let's get out of here."

The lieutenants got in their separate trucks and headed back to the station. Shay was waiting for Kelly and was at his side almost before his feet hit the ground.

"Hey, can we talk?" Shay was looking around, not wanting anyone to hear their business.

"Really, Shay? We're doing this right now?" Kelly just wanted a shower. He hoped they would talk back at their place tonight.

"Yes, Kelly, really. I don't want another day to go by with us pissed at each other." Shay was looking at Kelly making sure he was okay without asking.

"I'm not pissed. I want us to be back to normal, the way it was." Kelly kept walking hoping to get a shower in this time before another call.

"Okay. Take your shower and we have a date tonight. To talk." Shay squeezed Kelly's arm and kissed him on the forehead. "You know I love you," she said letting him sit on a bench.

"Love you too," Kelly said taking off his shirt. Shay looked at the zig zag of scars across his chest and was glad they would hash things out tonight. No, not another day would pass with them not talking. Those scars were a stark reminder that no one was guaranteed a tomorrow to make things better.

Kelly got home first and started dinner, cheese enchiladas...a Dawson specialty. She revealed her secret recipe on one of her babysitting visits when she had stayed with Kelly all day to make sure he didn't go crazy with boredom.

Shay walked in an hour later with a bottle of Kelly's favorite wine and some ice cream for dessert.

"That smells incredible Kelly!" Shay kissed his cheek and immediately opened the wine. "Let me change and then we'll attack that masterpiece you've created." She grabbed her glass of wine and took it upstairs with her.

Everything seemed great. Kelly wondered if they even needed to talk about anything.

Shay was down quickly and found the table set and plates ready to be loaded with food. Kelly did the honors and the two sat down at the small dining room table.

"Well," said Shay not knowing where to begin. "What are you thinking?" she asked Kelly.

"I'm thinking we're good. We've been through hell. We're over it. All's good," said Kelly stuffing a fork full of food in his mouth.

"All is not good. We have issues! You don't think we have issues?" Shay didn't want to brush what had happened over the last few days under the rug.

"You're right. The last few days have not been good." Kelly started. "I'm gonna be honest with you right now. Cate said I had homework...to think about what each of us wants from the other. She also thought we had issues."

"I don't care what that woman thinks. I..."

Kelly cut her off. "Let me finish. I was jealous when you went on that date looking so good. I don't know why. Sometimes I wish..." Kelly paused, not sure how to finish this thought.

"Wish what?" Shay wasn't letting him off the hook.

"I wish we had more. I wish we were more...maybe more than friends." He said it and was waiting for some reaction. Shay just stared straight ahead.

"I don't know what to say Kelly." Shay took a deep breath and neither one said anything for what seemed like minutes.

"Since we're being honest, I need to come clean. I was so jealous of you having sex with Cate. I can't explain it. I don't know why." Shay took a huge bite and waited for Kelly to respond.

"I say we finish off that bottle of wine, eat that ice cream, and go to bed. I mean separately, of course." Kelly looked awkwardly at Shay.

"Yeah, enough of this sharing crap," Shay laughed not quite over what her roommate had said about wishing for more. "Kelly, it's you and me. We're good. Forever, okay?"

"Of course," Kelly poured the last of the wine in their glasses, getting up to toss the bottle in the trash. He kissed Shay's head on the way back.

The doorbell rang just as he was sitting down. At this hour? He motioned Shay to stay. "I'll get it," he said making his way to the door.

"Cate!" Kelly said opening the door wider.

"Kelly... Jim left me."

Shay could hear the sound of a woman sobbing. She grabbed her wine glass and quickly downed what was left, wishing there was another bottle.


	8. Chapter 8

**I had to take a detour in this story to Voightland after watching the last episode of CF. I'll get back on track in the next chapter, but felt inspired to add a little Voight. Hope you enjoy! Thanks to all that are staying with the story and especially to all who have written reviews. Your kind words are appreciated!**

* * *

"We need more wine and no, Shay, you are not going out. I'll be right back," Kelly escaped through the front door before either woman could say no. Cut and run thought Shay. Great, what am I supposed to say to this woman?

By the time Kelly returned the ladies had worked out a strategy for getting Jim back.

Cate won Shay over with a barrage of nonstop talking, bearing her soul, beating herself up about the affair and then in the next breath talking about Kelly being such a good man.

"He deserves some happiness," Cate said as Kelly entered with three bottles of wine.

"Hey, I hope leavin you two alone wasn't a bad idea. I'm glad there's not blood on the ground." Kelly popped a cork and served up three extremely full glasses.

"No. I'm glad I got to talk to Leslie. I see why you love her. And most importantly, she brought me back to my senses." Cate seemed calm and drank her glass down quickly.

Shay and Kelly looked at each other embarrassed over Cate's words.

"Your husband would have to be crazy or just damn stupid not to take you back. It was a one time thing. I forgave Clarice for a crap load more than that." Shay downed her glass of wine.

Kelly thought things were getting stranger and stranger, so he downed his wine in a few gulps. What the hell.

They didn't talk about the obvious. Instead they laughed about old loves, drank a little more, stupid moments, drank a little more, insignificant things, and drank a little more. They finished off the wine and made their way to the hard stuff. Shay and Cate fell asleep on the couch. Kelly carried Shay upstairs, tucked her in, then headed downstairs to cover up Cate.

Kelly slept off and on. By the time he woke up, Cate had left. Note on counter.  
"Leslie, Kelly - thanks for everything last night. You are the only ones who know about this. I didn't deserve the kindness, but I appreciate it. Love, Cate"

Friends, they were all friends now. Didn't really feel right to Kelly, but it was what was on the table.

Shay came down while Kelly was re-reading the note. She gave Kelly a kiss on the cheek and read the note over his shoulder.

"I hate to admit this. It practically kills me to admit this." Shay looked at Kelly's questioning look. "I like her."

"Hah! So she's not 'that woman' anymore, huh?" Kelly had a smile on his face but something else in his eyes.

"I guess not, Kel. She's funny, nice, not bad looking. I feel for her. You put her in a bad spot." Shay squeezed Kelly's arm.

"I put her in that spot? I did? I think we found that spot together."

"Disgusting." Shay was glad her roommate was feeling okay after their marathon night.

They both had to go into the station and it was a hard one with their night of drinking.

"Son of a bitch!" Casey's voice met the level of Chief Boden's. There was no mistaking he was pissed.

Kelly was the hot head. No one was used to seeing Casey this enraged.

"I don't know how or why, but WE are out of this. Understand?" Boden was equally as loud.

Kelly walked quickly to the outburst.

"What? What is it?" he asked both men.

"He's out! That son of a bitch is out!" yelled Casey frustration all over his face.

"Who? What the hell are you talking about?" Kelly had no idea what was going on.

"Voight."

Kelly stood there in stunned silence. That was the last thing he was expecting. The thought of Detective Voight being released seemed impossible. Hadn't it been like half a second since he tried to take Casey out?

"You have got to be shitting me. There is no way..." Kelly thought there had to be some mistake. No way this was happening.

"It has happened. Done. And we are done too. You got that? We are not doing anything stupid." Boden's voice reverberated through his house. He hoped he was making an impression on his two lieutenants.

"If he pulls any of his same old shit, he's going to be done. We're ready for him this time," Kelly wanted to leave the firehouse and drop the detective now.

"This is my beef, Kelly. I don't want you in this mess. I'll take care of..." Casey was also ready to leave and deal with Voight personally.

"This stops now! He's out. Deal with it. He isn't stupid enough to jeopardize his newly found freedom. And we are not touching this thing with a ten foot pole. Do I make myself clear?" Boden just got Kelly back and didn't want to see anything happen to his other lieutenant.

They both nodded like kids being reprimanded but there was nothing childlike in their faces.

"Casey, if you want to send a message, count me in," said Kelly out of earshot of the chief.

"No, you heard Boden. I'm laying low." Casey had no desire to lay low but he also didn't want Kelly involved.

"Alright, whatever you think. But if you change your mind, I got your back." Kelly gave his friend a pat on the back.

He headed to Shay who was waiting for an update in the common room.

"What is up with Casey? He never gets like that." Shay was asking the question but Dawson was all ears wanting to know what was up.

"Voight is out."

"What? You mean on bail?" Dawson knew this wasn't the case but was still holding out hope.

"No, I mean free. Free as a damn bird." The words tasted like acid on Kelly's tongue. Just not right.

"How the hell does that happen?" asked Shay.

Kelly didn't answer, just put his head down, shaking it slowly.

It didn't take long to realize that Voight was not going to lay low. It took him a total of three days to make contact with Casey, Dawson, and even Severide.

"Why the hell was he talking to you?" Casey was getting more wound up with each passing day of having Voight out.

"I have no idea. I stopped by the gym yesterday after shift and there he was at my locker, like waiting for me. That douche even mentioned my dad," said Kelly.

"Your dad?" Casey was more confused.

"Yeah, that asshole said he'd be seeing me around. Then he just left. I was too shocked to kick his ass, but I swear if he confronts me again..."

"You aren't doing a damn thing. His issue is with me." Casey looked at Dawson and Shay who had joined the conversation.

"He called Dawson today and wanted to meet." Shay had to let them know and Dawson wasn't telling.

"Really, Shay?" Dawson didn't want to add to Casey's worry

"Sorry." Shay avoided Dawson's steely glare feeling no regret at all.

"Goddammit Gabby! You should have told me the second he contacted you" Casey was furious and a little scared. He felt sure this lunatic was making a point using his friends.

Mills saw the quiet whispers, the escalating conversation and couldn't keep himself away any longer. He headed to Gabby putting one arm around her as he entered the circle.

"What's going on? Are we planning an overthrow of Boden?" Mills knew it was serious when not a smile cracked.

"Voight's contacted Kelly," said Dawson slowly, "and me."

"What? When? I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" Mills tightened his grip on Dawson.

"Get in line." Kelly was sick of all this talking and wanted to act.

Truck 81 and Squad 3 were called to a high rise in Lincoln Park.

Perfect thought the three firefighters. Time to get their heads together about Voight without the ladies knowing.

Simple call. Not often they could say that. Elevator stuck. Kelly thought he shouldn't have bothered getting out of the truck. Casey had the thing going under fifteen minutes.

"If this firefighter thing doesn't work out, I think you got a future in elevator repair." Kelly was glad to see his friend smiling.

"Let's talk." Casey said motioning Severide and Mills to the back of squad's truck.

"What do you wanna do?" asked Kelly.

"Nothing. Yet. Let's see what he's up to. We'll lay low, but if he forces us," Casey didn't need to say the rest.

Mills remained silent just nodding his head.

"You got it." Kelly owed his friend a lot. Casey was there through the worst of it. He'd been working Kelly like a dog at the gym or in the ring getting him back to his former condition. Hadley and Capp weren't worried about their lieutenant anymore and Boden knew Kelly was back. Really back. In a large part because of Casey.

Casey gave Kelly a slap on the back to say thank you. No words needed.

Back at the station, Shay was glad to see Kelly and Casey much more relaxed. She watched them playing cards and smiled.

Dawson saw her friend smiling, watching Kelly.

"Are they plotting?" asked Dawson.

"Nope. Just playing cards, thank God." Shay didn't want to see Kelly mixed up with this Voight thing but she had the feeling they both were getting sucked in. After all, their friends were targets. They couldn't just sit by.

"Maybe he'll just retire," Dawson said hopefully.

"Yeah, right. I think we're in for a rough ride," said Shay, smile disappearing from her face.

The boys were laughing, telling tall tales, while Casey took Kelly for every dollar in his wallet. He looked at his phone ringing again, number unknown. Third time today.

"Hello?" he answered wanting to get rid of the persistent telemarketer. He almost crushed his phone when he heard the gravel of Voight's voice.

"Hi, Lieutenant." Two words that brought a stop to the card game. Kelly knew it was Voight by the expression on Casey's face.

"What the hell do you want?" Casey wanted this guy gone.

"I had a revelation in jail I wanted to share with you...a real light bulb moment," laughed Voight knowing Casey was hanging on his every word. The power was like a drug, one he didn't want to kick.

"I had it all wrong with you. You'd go to the grave for your damn principles. You would. I realize that now." Voight paused dragging out the tension.

"I started to figure that out when I pulled over that nice piece of doctor ass you were banging, but then I got it in my head that YOU needed to be eliminated. My mistake. It won't happen again." Voight's tone was so calm and cheerful you'd think he was talking about a fishing trip.

"If you do anything, I swear..." Casey was standing up now pacing.

"I wonder if you would let someone else go to the grave for your principles. I don't think so. We'll talk again soon." Voight hung up the phone laughing.

"What did he say? What the hell does he want?" Kelly demanded.

"He's out for blood." Casey looked at his friend.

"That asshole isn't getting to you this time. He's the one who's getting a beat down."

"No. He's after everyone I care about. That son of a bitch..." Casey knew how far Voight would go and he wasn't about to see anyone he loved hurt.

"What did he ask for?"

"Not a damn thing yet. It's coming. It's definitely coming." Casey wasn't worried for himself, but he was terrified for his friends, his sister, his nieces. Fear was quickly turning to anger as he slammed his fists to the table sending cards flying.

After shift Kelly and Shay headed back to the apartment, no one was in the mood for drinks.

"You are not leaving this apartment by yourself at night anymore. No late night runs for ice cream or beer or anything. Got it?" Kelly's serious look left no room for joking, so Shay just nodded her head.

"Kelly, you too, okay? Voight is frickin crazy, and he knows you two go way back. I'm worried for Dawson. Maybe she can stay here for a while?" Shay couldn't believe the mess they were in. Out of one drama and back in another. It had been a cycle for months, almost a year.

"Dawson and her cooking are more than welcome," smiled Kelly actually smelling the food now.

"What's wrong with my cooking?" Shay asked innocently lightly punching Kelly on the arm.

"You cook?" Kelly grabbed Shay before she could attack him and hugged her tight. "It'll be okay," he said trying to convince himself as well.

Two weeks went by and no contact from Voight. Casey was convinced the detective wasn't going to do anything. All of them were more at ease, lulled into a sense of safety, all except Dawson. She had a feeling this was the proverbial calm before the storm. A man like Voight didn't go to all the trouble of contacting them unless he had plans, big plans.

Casey drove home from shift and realized Dawson's fears were justified. Parked directly in front of his house was Detective Voight's car and standing in front with arms folded was the man himself.

"What the hell do you want?" yelled Casey picking up the pace as he headed towards his enemy.

"Let's go in Matt and discuss my problem which is actually becoming your problem." The detective's voice was dead calm and the smile on his face belied an anger not so hidden.

"There is no way in hell you're going in. What do you want?" Casey was in Voight's face.

"Fine. We'll do this here. You have no children, lieutenant, so you'll have to use your imagination on this one. I have a child, one son, you've met him," Voight's face remained in the tight smile.

"His name is James, we've always called him Jimmy. He's 20 and he is a fuck up. But no matter what he does or how much he fucks up I will do anything to protect him. Someday, if you have kids, you WILL understand this." Voight took a breath and continued.

"He's been in jail for four months and it hasn't been pretty. It isn't the best place for a cop's son. He needs out, now. And you're gonna help that happen." Voight's smile was gone.

"His new lawyer has come up with a theory. A theory that the judge will rule as a fact...with your help. You see, it turns out Jimmy wasn't driving after all. His lawyer has uncovered the truth that his friend was actually driving. In your new deposition, you are going to say that it is possible, just POSSIBLE." Voight's command could not be mistaken as a request.

"You seem to forget that there is a paralyzed young man who's life has been ruined," said Casey. "Because of your son."

"Jimmy feels real bad about that, but he's paid the price. He's been punished enough. Did I mention that things don't go well for a cop's son in jail? Now my boy is getting out and you are going to do exactly what I say or people YOU care about are going to find themselves in a tough spot." There. The threat was out.

"If you touch any of my friends, I swear you will regr..." Casey wanted to wring Voight's neck.

"You have twenty four hours to call my son's lawyer and set up the deposition. Here's his card. Hey, say hi to Benny's son for me. Kelly, right?" Voight smiled as he opened his car door.

Casey walked into his place and dialed Kelly's number.

"Voight was here."

"I'm coming over," Kelly had to do something. "We are going to bury that asshole."

"No! I don't want him seeing us together. The less he sees us as friends the better." Casey had a sense of urgency in his voice that Kelly didn't like the sound of.

"What the hell? Who gives a shit if he knows we have each other's back. He'll think twice about messing with..." Kelly had keys in hand and headed downstairs.

"No, Kelly. He's got you in his sights, unless I do what he wants." Casey told his friend about his Voight visit and the cryptic warning mentioning Kelly.

"If you bow down to that asshole, I'm gonna kick your ass." Kelly got in his car and headed over to Casey's. To hell with Voight.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but this is a cop, a dirty cop. He's capable of anything. And we're talking about his son. He seemed desperate."

"I'm almost at your place. We'll work something out." Kelly's mind was racing trying to think of some plan to get rid of Voight once and for all.

"Dammit, Kelly. I said don't come over!" Casey heard Kelly's car pull up before he saw it. There was his friend walking up the steps to his place.

He opened his front door, "You are the most hard headed son of a bitch I know." Casey had to admit he was glad Kelly came over.

The two argued about what Matt should do. Back and forth, no resolution.

"Matt, he's not going to gun me down in broad daylight. You gotta think about that kid who can't walk, will never walk again."

"I know, but I also know Voight isn't stopping till he gets what he wants. I wouldn't be thinking twice if it was just me, but he's threatening the people I care most about."

"Please tell me you're not turning soft on me. If you talk about being best friends, I will throw up, right now. Man up and do what you know is right. You're not calling that lawyer." And with that Kelly gave Casey what he needed to hear. Permission to not give in to Voight.

The twenty four hours passed and not a word from the detective. No action either. Casey didn't know what he expected. For Severide to blow up before his eyes? Nothing.

Shay was more than on edge. Kelly told her almost everything. He left out the part about Voight mentioning him by name.

Shay was worried for Kelly and Dawson. Voight had to know how close Casey was to the pair.

"I just don't get why he won't say it is POSSIBLE Voight's kid wasn't driving. I don't want to see something happen to you or Kelly. I just got him back. I'm not losing him to that asshole." Shay would do anything for Kelly. Hell, she'd done so much for him...stolen morphine, given a urine sample for him, perjured herself. Yes, anything.

"I know, but Casey doesn't operate on the same moral ground we're walking on. He's a good man, a really good man." Dawson would also do anything for her friends, her family and had no problems sacrificing her morals in the process. It was one of the things that attracted her to Casey...his character. Unflappable in any situation. Unwavering...she hoped not to a fault.

"Shay." Kelly walked in on the girls' conversation and was pissed that she was criticizing Casey's decision. "No more."

"Sorry," she said knowing he was behind Casey one hundred percent.

"No you're not," he smiled kissing her on the forehead. "Everything's fine. Voight's a coward."

Dawson had a feeling another storm was coming. She prayed she was wrong, but couldn't shake it.

Kelly got off shift and headed back to the apartment dead tired. It was a long shift with many calls. Hauling 70 pounds of gear takes its toll and Kelly was feeling it. Shay had the day off. He's was looking forward to a quiet night in, early to bed.

"Honey, I'm home," he joked as he entered their place. No response. Don't panic. No reason to panic. Voight wouldn't do anything to Shay.

"Shay, you here?" Silence.

Kelly texted her, "Where you at?"

No response. Shit. This means nothing he told himself.

Kelly called this time. Straight to voicemail. Shit. He was about to dial Casey when he got a call - unknown number.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hello, lieutenant." There was no mistaking...it was Voight.

"What the hell have you done with her?! I am gonna kill you! I'm gonna rip your fucking head off!" Kelly' was out of control. He needed to know Shay was okay.

"Whoa. Calm down cowboy," Voight laughed. "I have an address for you. 1126 Winchester Avenue. Go now. Do NOT call your lieutenant friend, and there's no need to contact the police. We'll already be there." Voight's rumbling laughter could be heard as he hung up.

Kelly grabbed a baseball bat on the way out. He threw it back in the apartment before closing the door. Stupid, he thought, they have guns. He peeled out and sped to Winchester, not the best part of town. One goal in mind, get Shay safely home. That was number one. Second goal, kill that son of a bitch.

Kelly slowed down looking for 1126. He saw a car parked in an alley next to the address. Great, dark alley. Couldn't Voight pick something less obvious?

He ran towards the car with really no plan in mind. Act first, think later...typical Kelly.

"Voight!" he screamed. "Where the hell is she?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Voight stepped out letting himself be seen. He had on a ski mask, but there was no mistaking that voice. He was further in the alley than Kelly wanted to go. No choice.

"Where is Shay?" Kelly stepped closer, Voight drawing him into the darkness.

"I was just going to ask you to join me here tonight, but you obviously thought I had something I didn't. What can I say, I went with it." Kelly couldn't see the smile on Voight's face, but he could hear it.

Damn, should have called Casey, thought Kelly. Oh well, he could take him. He took one step closer and two other men with ski masks stepped out from the shadows. Kelly ran straight at Voight landing a solid blow to the detective's nose. He felt something snap giving him more motivation to give this ass a beat down. He pummeled Voight's face and could feel the hot of blood soaking the mask.

"Shit!" said Voight holding up his hands defensively.

The other two men were on Kelly. They grabbed his arms, but he twisted himself free landing several good body shots on the taller thug. Then, without warning, Kelly heard a buzzing sound and felt his body go limp as he hit the pavement.

Shit. His roommate's weapon of choice...taser.

By the time he felt the shock wear off and he could move again, it was too late and he couldn't move at all. His face was hit over and over by taller thug obviously pissed at getting his body bruised. He was on top of Kelly hitting his face again, again, again. It was all Kelly could do to stay conscious and put his hands up defensively.

Finally the thug got off and Kelly could open one eye slightly. He saw Voight circling him slowly.

"You broke my nose," laughed Voight surveying his hands covered in his own blood.

Kelly tried to get up but was so dizzy it wasn't happening. He kind of wobbled to one knee before feeling a hard kick to the chest sending him back down.

Then the barrage of kicks came, all delivered by Voight. Each delivered with a special message.

"Just a possibility. That's all he needs to say." Kick to the stomach.

"My son, my son is getting worse than this!" Vicious kick to the ribs.

"Your friend could have prevented this." Kick to the chest.

Kelly tried rolling one way then the other. Didn't help. Each comment was met with another kick. He tried calling out...no sound came, just some raspy noise. Did that even come from me, he thought. He couldn't believe he was still conscious.

"My son will never be the same!" Two kicks to the ribs. Each time Voight mentioned his son, the kicks were more violent.

Kelly's eyes had been closed for some time. He gave up trying to roll away. He couldn't even bring his hands to his ribs or stomach. Breathing hurt, everything hurt. Kinda felt like when he was in the hospital. He knew it wasn't that bad yet.

"Enough for tonight. Next time, you will be dead. Got it?" Voight grabbed Kelly by the hair and pulled his face in close. He slammed it back to the pavement and Kelly finally lost consciousness.

Shay had been crazy since she saw all of Kelly's texts and messages. She was the one leaving messages now, getting no response. She knew something bad had happened. She knew it.

Shay and Dawson decided to get massages after lunch, a definite no phone zone. Now, she was regretting their hour of relaxation and pampering.

She had Casey, Dawson, and Antonio in her apartment, all working on locating her roommate. Antonio had his friends on the force with an eye out for Kelly's car and an ear to any chatter from Voight and his buddies. Dawson was reassuring Shay that her best friend was fine.

"Why didn't I just do what he asked? This is on me, all on me. Shit! Where the hell is he?" Casey couldn't be comforted.

"I can't just stay here. Let's get out there. We've gotta find him." Casey grabbed his keys.

"Yeah, I can't sit here for one more second," Shay grabbed her keys wanting to split up to cover more area.

"Hold up!" Antonio was on his phone, raising his hand to quiet the friends. He was nodding his head saying, "Okay, we're on our way."

"They found him. He's alive, but in bad shape. They're taking him to County." Antonio shared a look with his sister letting her know it wasn't good.

"No, no, no!" Shay buried her face in her hands letting herself be led out by Dawson.

That storm Dawson feared had definitely arrived.


	9. Chapter 9

Kelly could barely open one eye, but it wasn't really necessary for him to know where he was. He'd been there enough. The rush around him, the buzz, the fast talking with words that sounded foreign. Yes back in the ER.

He knew he hurt, his face, his ribs, but he also knew he would be alright. This wasn't that same feeling last time he was rushed in here. The feeling that if he just let himself, just let go a little, he would drift off. No, this was different.

"Where's Kelly Severide?" Shay rushed into the ER with Casey and Dawson right behind her. Antonio was talking to a couple of officers finding out what happened, how they found him.

The nurse at the front was on the phone answering questions from someone probably calling about a loved one. She held up one finger to shush Shay and that didn't go over too well.

"Excuse me! I know that Kelly Severide was brought in here and I need to see him, now!" Shay was practically over the counter with Dawson putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Leslie." Hallie walked up behind Shay, talking in her calm, soft tone. "Kelly is going to be fine. He took a bad beating, but he's going to be alright."

Shay felt herself exhale, like she could breathe for the first time since she learned that Kelly was brought in.

"Where is he? Can we see him?" She felt her eyes welling up finally letting her emotions go.

"Yes you can, but I want to warn you. He looks bad, Leslie. His face was used as a punching bag, but luckily no facial bones were broken. It's not pretty though." Hallie needed to prepare her friends. She knew Matt would be shocked too. He'd witnessed a lot on the job but seeing his good friend like this would not be easy.

"He has several broken ribs, but he's lucky this time...no internal injuries. We've done two CAT scans and no sign of bleeding. He's also got a nasty grade four concussion but no swelling on the brain, no bleeding."

"Okay, okay, can we go already. I need to see him for myself." Shay was ready to lead the way but had no idea where she was going.

"He's still here in the ER. We're getting a room set up for him. We want to watch him overnight. Why don't you wait until we get him to the room? He's still in his clothes..."

"No, I don't care if he's not all cleaned up. I need to just see him for a second. Please, Hallie." Shay's pleading look was working.

Casey hadn't said anything since entering the hospital. Dawson had a firm grip of his hand and wasn't letting go. The silence was disturbing, more so than if Casey blew. He was wound so tight.

"Hey, Matt, you heard Hallie. He's okay. C'mon." Dawson hugged Casey and could feel him begin to break.

"Sshhh. It's okay." She rubbed his back, keeping her grip tight.

"I don't know if I can face him," began Casey.

"You have to. This isn't your fault," said Dawson hoping those words would get through.

"The hell it's not! If I'd just called that lawyer," Casey couldn't continue.

"If you'd called that lawyer, Severide would have had your ass," Dawson had a small smile on her face hoping Casey was hearing her words.

"They're going to let us see him. Come on!" Shay was grabbing Casey pulling on his arm. No time to refuse. Casey let himself be led to see his friend.

"Fuck." Casey didn't mean for the words to come out, but when he saw Kelly those were the words that escaped.

Kelly cracked the one eye that would open and saw his three friends at his bedside. He tried to grin but it hurt so bad a groan escaped his mouth.

"Jesus Christ, Kelly." The words kept coming out like they had a mind of their own.

Shay squeezed Casey's arm and gave him a "shut up" look.

"Kelly," Shay said softly, stroking her roommate's arm.

"Shay," Kelly managed to get out. Damn his mouth hurt, he couldn't believe his jaw wasn't broken.

Shay needed to hear his voice. The face before her didn't look like Kelly. She couldn't see his eyes, just swollen, blue puffiness. His face looked better the last time he was dragged in here half alive.

"I told you I didn't want to see you back in here," said Hallie looking at Kelly's chart. "Still no signs of internal bleeding. You're lucky."

Kelly tried to laugh but ended up groaning from the burning in his chest. Lucky? He didn't feel lucky and from the looks on his friends' faces, he didn't think he looked lucky at the moment.

Casey couldn't stay back any longer. He moved closer and touched his friend's hand holding it lightly.

"Kelly, I am so sorry. It should have been me." Casey began, cut off by Hallie.

"Okay, everyone out. I let you see him, but now we're going to move him to a room. He needs rest. I'm sure his head's killing him." Hallie knew all this talking wasn't helping Kelly relax.

"Love you," Shay said kissing Kelly's arm, then his hand. He tried to speak but decided to squeeze Shay's hand instead.

Kelly felt relief when his friends left. He wanted to tell them he was going to be fine but couldn't. It was frustrating. He let the morphine run its course and drifted off to unconsciousness.

"Matt, I know he looks like hell, but I promise, he's going to be fine," said Hallie trying to convince Casey.

"He'll be pretty again. We'll have our Severide back," Dawson hooked her arm through Shay's.

"Yep." Shay was nodding her head but not feeling particularly optimistic. She didn't want to leave Kelly, but she knew he should rest. He was going to be okay, but she also knew the pain would get worse before better. Seemed so unfair that he'd just made it back only to be met with this.

"C'mon, you're staying with me tonight," said Dawson.

"No, I really do need to get Kelly some things to go home in tomorrow. Why don't you stay with me?"

"Sounds good, but I'm doing the cooking." The last thing Dawson wanted was to cook, but it would do them both some good.

"Thanks, I don't want to face that apartment alone."

"Hey, no one's alone to tonight. Casey want to make it a slumber party?" Dawson was trying to lighten the mood. She didn't want to see either of them alone.

"I'm going to pass, ladies. I want to talk to Antonio and see if we can lock up that son of a bitch who did this to Kelly." Casey headed to the front where Antonio was waiting for his sister.

"At least dinner then. Antonio will come and we can see what's going on," pleaded Dawson.

"You got me," said Casey.

Back at the apartment Dawson was busy in the kitchen but listening to every word.

"What do you mean Voight gets off? Again!" Casey was yelling not believing the words coming out of Antonio's mouth.

"Voight's got his partner backing up his story about three perps breaking his nose, them fighting for their lives, some bullshit story. Severide never saw his face and it's his word against both of theirs." Antonio couldn't believe the detective hadn't used his nine lives yet. It was unreal how he slithered out of every situation.

"I am going to kill that asshole." Shay said the words they all were thinking. "You did see Kelly's face, right?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, but it's not happening. This time. Eventually he's gonna slip up so bad that he'll go down. Just not this time." Antonio knew they didn't want to hear this.

"So basically someone will have to end up dead? That's what you're saying, right?" Shay was furious and scared.

Kelly didn't come home the next day - it took one extra. Hallie was being overly cautious. Everyone understood why. Everyone except Kelly.

"I want to go, get out." Kelly mumbled. The fact that his friends could understand him was an improvement.

"One more day, Severide. Non negotiable. Let's get your pain under control. You want to make it easier on Shay, don't you?" Hallie knew it would be better for everyone if he stayed at least one more night.

"I'm hiring someone. To help me," he got out. He hated to admit it, but Kelly knew he would need some help getting up the stairs, just moving around. Hell, it hurt to readjust himself in the bed. Voight had done a number on his ribs, and Kelly realized it would be a while before they didn't hurt.

"You are not hiring someone. And that's non negotiable also. I'm there Kelly. Every step," Shay was at the side of his bed. It hurt every time she looked at him, seeing him like that.

"Please, I can't argue. Nurse Kathy has a friend who needs the extra cash," said Kelly referring to the night shift nurse who had taken such good care of him the previous night. "You've been playing the role of nurse too long. No more talking." Kelly put his hands on his head signaling he was done.

"Everyone out," demanded Hallie. "He needs rest. Then we'll talk about springing you tomorrow."

Hallie led his friends out.

"Shay, why don't you let him hire someone? Kelly has a good point. You need to get back to friend. It's got to be trying, taking care of him..."

"That's what friends do. He would've done the same for me. More, probably." Shay knew Kelly wouldn't have left her side.

"It doesn't mean you're not there for him. It just means you'll be getting help."

"I'm going to let him do it. Not because I like it, but because I don't want him getting worked up." Shay knew Kelly didn't have any fight in him.

The next day Hallie released Kelly and both Shay and Casey wondered if it wasn't too soon. He could barely get in the wheelchair and refused most of their help.

Getting into Shay's car was impossible without them. Kelly reluctantly let Casey ease him out of the chair and into the front seat.

Dawson was at the apartment with a delicious meal waiting. Shay texted her that they were outside making their way up.

Casey took most of Kelly's weight up the long stairs. He forced Kelly to stop a couple times. He'd had a couple of broken ribs before, most at the station had, but not to this extent. With the concussion, the beaten face, he knew Kelly was feeling it.

"Mmmm, smells good," said Kelly glad he could open both eyes and smile a little.

"Glad you're home," said Dawson giving Kelly a soft pat on the arm.

Casey helped Kelly to the dining room table. He knew he was spending the night. That would be another non negotiable. The nurse wasn't starting until the next day and there was no way Shay was getting their friend upstairs without him.

Dawson served her famous chicken enchiladas, borracho beans, and Spanish rice. With the way everyone was eating, she was glad she made double what she normally would. Everyone except Kelly. He was making an effort but pushed his food around more than actually ate it.

He didn't want Shay to worry, so he managed to take a few bites and hoped the shuffling around would pass for eating. His head was pounding, his ribs were burning, and breathing was not fun. What he really wanted was to take his pain pills and go to bed.

"You ready for bed?" asked Shay not oblivious that Kelly hadn't eaten much if anything.

"Is that a proposition?" asked Kelly hoping the humor would make Shay get that worried look off her face.

"Very funny. Casey, will you help lover boy up the stairs?"

"Yep, let's get you some pills first," said Casey getting up to refill Kelly's glass with water while Shay fished out a couple of pain pills.

Kelly just nodded his head downing the large white tablets hoping they would just knock him out.

Casey helped him up the stairs with Shay and Dawson watching. Kelly felt like he was under the microscope, not a comfortable feeling. Casey couldn't drag him up there fast enough.

"Thanks." Kelly said trying to get his boots off.

Casey pushed his hands out of the way and pulled them off for his friend.

"What else do you need? Are you okay?" Casey asked not believing the half laying, half sitting position Kelly was in could be the least bit comfortable.

"Good." Kelly let his head rest against his pillow wishing those damn pills would kick in.

The more Casey looked at Kelly in pain the more angry he got about the Voight situation. He had been fine all day, keeping busy, but now seeing Kelly hurting so much, it was not good. Casey wanted to do something, to act, to get revenge.

"Do you think you can call out if you need us?" asked Casey. "Should I get you a bell or something?"

"If you get me a fucking bell, I'm going to shove it..." Kelly was trying not to laugh, hurt too much.

"Yeah, bad idea," chuckled Casey. "I'll probably camp out on the floor in Shay's room, so I'll hear you. Try to rest, bud."

How the hell was he supposed to sleep? What were those pills? Vitamins? They didn't seem to be doing a thing, not even dulling the gnawing in his ribs. The pounding in his head was driving him crazy.

"Call me if you need reinforcements," said Dawson on her way out. "Casey, get that look off your face and don't do anything stupid." She kissed Shay and Casey on the cheek before heading out the door.

"I'm gonna check on him." Shay grabbed some fresh ice packs and ran upstairs before Casey could respond.

She opened his door quietly hoping to find Kelly asleep. His lamp was on so she could see that wasn't the case. He looked worse than when they left the hospital.

"Hey," she whispered drawing closer.

"Hey," Kelly said thinking this was when his head would really just burst open. He managed to smile, hiding pain was becoming second nature.

Shay gently placed the larger ice pack on Kelly's ribs, pulling back when he winced. She put the smaller one on his forehead. He let out a loud sigh, the cold felt good.

"Better," he said eyes closed.

Shay didn't know what she could touch, so she just held his hand. His breathing became more regular. He was falling asleep.

When Shay came downstairs, she found a note from Casey. He forgot something at his apartment and would be back shortly.

Yeah, right, she thought.

She was on her phone immediately.

"Dawson, I need a favor. Will you get Antonio to go to Voight's? I think Casey's headed over there."

Casey wasn't sure what he was going to do. He didn't know what he was going to say. He just knew he had to confront Voight.

He slammed his car door and ran up the walkway to Voight's house. He opened the screen and began banging on the door.

"Coming, coming." It was Voight's voice from further in the house.

A quick burst of a siren sounded behind Casey. He turned around to see Antonio getting out of his car. Damn.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" yelled Antonio.

Voight opened his door and smiled broadly.

"And what can I do for you two?"

Casey lunged at the detective as Antonio grabbed his arm pulling him back.

"Hey, I might have to press charges, Dawson. This guy just won't let bygones be bygones." Voight was in full smug mode now. "How's your friend, Benny Severide's kid? I heard he had an accident."

"You son of a bitch!" Casey lunged again, but Antonio was not letting go.

Antonio half pulled, half dragged Casey back to his car with Voight yelling after them.

"Good news. My boy is getting out! Gotta love overcrowding!" Voight slammed his door leaving Casey and Antonio speechless.

"Someone needs to find a bullet for that guy's skull." This time it was Antonio venting.

"This can't be happening. His kid is being released? Kelly took a beat down and his kid is getting out?" Casey just shook his head. Everything with Voight was unbelievable.

"It won't be you or me, but someone, someday is going to kill that son of a bitch." Antonio wished it would be sooner rather than later.

Casey was met by Shay's piercing blue eyes as he returned to the apartment.

"Kelly doesn't need you dead right now!" Shay said sort of whisper screaming.

"So me dead later would be better." Casey's smart ass comment hit its mark.

Shay couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm glad you are okay and didn't do anything stupid," said Shay.

"I'm okay and Antonio stopped me from doing something. I wouldn't call it stupid though. How is he?"

"Sleeping. Thank God." Shay was so tired, ready to try her hand at rest.

"He's tough."

"Not that tough. Let's get some rest. I wanna check on him every few hours. You know he'll never call us." Shay started the walk upstairs.

"Do you want me to hit the couch or your floor?" asked Casey.

"Stay down here. I'll call you if I need help."

"Goodnight. Try to sleep, Shay. He'll be better in a couple of days." Casey took off his shoes and reached for the throw on the back of the couch.

"Goodnight." Shay continued upstairs. She peeked in on Kelly, happy to see him still sleeping.

Shay slept three hours before waking up. She got Kelly's pills and a fresh glass of water. She heard soft voices as she neared his door. Casey was sitting on the side of his bed.

"I think I'm a little late," said Shay smiling.

"Go back to bed. Just took the pills. I'll be out soon. I feel good," Kelly lied.

Shay kissed him on the forehead lightly and headed back to bed.

Kelly was much better in three days. His head stopped throbbing and his face was getting back to normal, swelling way down. Just his ribs to contend with.

Shay helped him wrap up his chest with a tight bandage when he returned to work. He knew he would feel better at the station.

She looked at his scars across his chest and frowned. She made her way to his back and it was no better. The long scar starting at the base of his neck was staring at her.

"You're lucky scars are sexy. You sure you're not pushing it?" Shay sighed rubbing his shoulders massaging into his neck and back.

"Always pushing it. That feels good though. Scars are sexy, huh?" Kelly grinned, his face displaying that Severide grin once again. He still had bruising but the shape was back to normal.

"Yes, they are. But that's enough, okay?" Shay pushed harder getting rid of any knots and tension Kelly was feeling.

"I'll try."

"I'll take that as a yes. You ready?" Shay didn't want to go but knew Kelly was anxious to get back to work. She handed him his shirt, helping him put it on.

At the station, it didn't take long for a call to come in. A car and train collided. Train won. Looked like the car had been ditched on the tracks, no injuries or fatalities. No one at the scene.

Two more uneventful calls came in.

"Jesus," said Hermann. "These damn calls aren't even worth us takin the truck. We need some real action."

As he said the word "action," Hermann saw a vision of pure beauty approaching, tall, dark hair, familiar, piercing blue eyes.

Chief Boden actually came out of his office to greet this visitor.

"Chief Boden. How may I help you, ma'am?" He held out his hand, clearly mesmerized by this woman. His face looked like it was searching for something, just a little out of reach.

"Wally, it's Corinne. Don't tell me I've aged so much you don't recognize me."

Chief was left speechless.

"I'm looking for Kelly."

Of course she was, thought half the station.

Walking arm in arm with Shay, Kelly came laughing into the common room. He stopped dead in his tracks, smile vanishing as he saw this woman.

"Mom?" Kelly finally broke the silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**I've always been curious about Severide's mom on CF. He never mentions her, ever. Also, what kind of a mom doesn't see her son before neck surgery or when he's been accused of a terrible crime? I'm thinking next season we'll find out she's dead, but I decided to make her very much alive in this chapter. Enjoy the drama!**

* * *

"Jesus Christ, Corinne. It's been, what? Twenty years?" Boden was smiling so brightly the men in the house were wondering who took their chief and replaced him with this bumbling idiot.

"More like fifteen, Wally. Great to see you. You look good." Kelly's mom glanced from Boden to her son, then around the room looking at a sea of shocked faces.

"Kelly." She awkwardly hugged Kelly while he stood by stiffly. His arm still holding onto Shay's.

"What are you doing here?" The coldness in Kelly's voice was everyone's signal to clear the room. There was a little mumbling about nice to meet you and having to do this or that. Shay remained by Kelly's side...his lock on her arm prevented her from leaving.

"Hi Mrs. Sev..." started Shay pulling her arm free and extending a hand out to this stranger.

"Mrs. Kapelos, but call me Corinne. And you are?" Kelly's mom smiled widely.

Shay couldn't help but stare at the beautiful eyes looking at her...Kelly's eyes. Yes, this woman was his mom.

"Leslie Shay. Paramedic here. Umm, and good friend." Shay smiled back hoping Kelly would say something.

He never talked about his mom. Never. Shay had pried, but Kelly never said more than,"She wasn't the best mom." That was it. Shay often wondered if his mom was even alive.

"May we have a moment?" Corinne asked turning back to Kelly.

"No, stay," Kelly grabbed Shay's hand.

"Kelly, please. I just found out from Benny's sister what's been going on with you. From Benny's sister! Jesus!"

"Well, I'm fine. You've seen me. I'm great. You can leave."

Shay didn't like seeing Kelly like this, so cold to his mom. This wasn't Kelly. This wasn't the man she knew.

"Kelly. You broke your neck! You almost died in a fire! You didn't think to let me know, a simple phone call. Hell, Benny could've called. I'm your mother!" Corinne's eyes were filling. She blinked one more time and the tears came.

"Mom," he said softer. "I'm fine. I didn't see the point in worrying you. We hadn't spoken in..."

"Yes, I know how long it's been. I love you. I should've been there."

"Well, you're here now," said Shay trying to lighten the mood. "And you're in luck. Kelly's taking me out to Francesca's tonight after shift. A bunch of us are going and we have a big table reserved."

Shay could feel Kelly's eyes burning a hole right through her. She knew he was not happy with her, so avoiding eye contact seemed like the smart thing to do.

"Why don't you join us? You can get to know Kelly's friends. It'll be fun," Shay couldn't stop herself. If she could fix Kelly and his mom, she had to try. Everyone needed their mom, right?

"I'm sure she's busy." Kelly knew he wasn't going to like the response.

"Umm, no, actually I'm in Chicago just to spend time with you, Kelly."

"It's set then. Why don't you meet us at 8:00?" continued Shay still avoiding Kelly's look.

"Thank you, Leslie." Corinne gave Shay a hug then turned to her son and squeezed his arm. "See you at 8:00."

Kelly nodded and waited for Corinne to make her way out.

"Jesus Christ, Shay! I am so pissed at you right now I can't talk to you." Kelly stormed out not sure where he was going. The station was only so big. He wished he was on another planet at the moment.

Shay, of course, followed.

"Kelly, wait up!"

"Stay away from me right now!" Kelly's heavy footsteps pounded through the front and straight out to the street.

"Kelly!"

Shay watched as Kelly walked down the street.

Kelly walked back and forth in front of the station. He kept within earshot in case of an alarm, but he had to get away from all of them.

When Kelly finally came back in, Shay was waiting, of course.

"I am so sorry. I had no right. I don't know what the story is with your mom." Shay ran at Kelly wrapping her arms around him.

"Yeah, you don't, but now I've gotta sit through this dinner from hell. Thanks a lot." With that, Kelly pushed Shay's arms away and headed to the showers.

Well, at least he's going, thought Shay. She wasn't sure if that was really a good thing after all.

Francesca's was a great restaurant completely wasted on Kelly and Shay that night. Uncomfortable would be the way to describe the atmosphere.

Kelly sat on the opposite end from his mom and discovered it was a mistake. They were facing each other, no way to avoid eye contact.

Boden had made the dinner after all. He said he couldn't come but miraculously changed his mind when he found out Corinne was going.

Casey, Dawson, and Mills rounded out the table. Yes, uncomfortable was the perfect word.

"Corinne, what have you been up to these past few years?" asked Chief trying again to start some sort of conversation.

"I've actually been helping my husband run his shipping business...learned so much. It's exciting, all new to me." She looked at Kelly waiting for some reaction to the mention of her husband, a man Kelly had never met. Nothing.

"Kelly, you should come out. You should see some of Niko's boats. They're amazing!"

"Who's Niko?"

"My husband, Kelly. You got the wedding invitation, Nikolai Kapelas."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that one," said Kelly stuffing a piece of bread in his mouth wondering where the damn food was.

"You know Kelly works on sailboats," blurted out Shay. I'm an idiot she thought.

Kelly glared at her to shut up.

"I'm checking on the food," said Kelly getting up.

"Yes, he's always loved boats. Always. That and saving people," said Corinne softly as she watched her son walk away.

"I bet you've got some stories," said Boden hoping he could get some sort of conversation started.

"Oh God yes!" smile Corinne eyes lighting up.

"I knew he was going to have some sort of job helping people from when he was, God, probably four. He was always doing something for his friends, giving them his lunch in preschool, standing up for his little buddies."

Shay liked where this was going. She could picture little Kelly doing this.

"By the time he was in elementary, he was always coming home with a shiner, some scrape, sticking up for the littler ones."

The group laughed. Kelly walked back feeling like he was the brunt of some joke.

"Food's coming, finally," he mumbled.

"We were just talking about what a little defender of the weak you were when you were little," said Corinne hoping Kelly would jump in with a story.

He didn't. He just shrugged his shoulders and attacked the bread again.

"Oh remember that one time you tried to rescue old Mrs. D'Angelo's cat from that tree?"

"Mom, please." Kelly obviously didn't want to take a trip down memory lane.

"Well, he gets it in his mind that he is saving this cat...it's WAY up in this huge oak. I'm watching him from the kitchen window then all of a sudden he's gone. I go running outside and he's got a hold of this cat in one arm and hanging on to a limb with the other."

Everyone laughs picturing their tough friend rescuing a cat. Kelly tries to force a smile, it's just not coming.

"He's stuck! Now, keep in mind he's five, six tops. He's 'rescued' this cat and now he's just frozen, not knowing what to do. I'm terrified and don't know what to do either. He is way up that tree."

Shay reached under the table and gave Kelly's hand a squeeze. Hold it together she silently wills him.

"I call Benny and he just laughs. It's funny now because obviously Kelly didn't break his neck, but at the time I'm frantic. Benny finally gets home, yells up to Kelly saying something like he got himself up there so he needs to find a way down."

Everyone grew silent at the table sensing this story didn't have a happy ending.

"Finish it, mom. You started it. Tell 'em what happened. They're waiting." Kelly's voice was stone cold.

"We get the idea, Corinne. No need for all the details," said Boden trying to help Kelly's mom out.

"Kelly stayed up there for another hour. It was dark, windy, I just didn't know what to do. I should have called the damn CFD, that would've shown Benny. His friends having to rescue his son."

"But you didn't," said Kelly.

"No, I didn't. Kelly tried to climb down. He fell and broke his arm. We spent all night in the ER. He needed surgery on it. It was the worst night of my life. I swear to God, I think Benny was proud of him."

"You left out the part where the doc said my arm would never be the same. Remember that? I do."

"Of course I do, Kelly. Thank God he was wrong. Yes, worst night ever."

"When you say 'worst night' do you really mean the worst or just ONE of the worst?" Kelly was furious and no one around the table could understand why.

Yes, it was terrible that he fell out of a tree and had to have surgery as such a young boy. But it was really a testament as to what an asshole Benny was...is.

"The worst, Kelly. You, so small in that big hospital bed."

"Let me get this straight...you think THAT was the worst night?!"

"What do you want me to say Kelly?! Do you want me to tell your friends right here, right now at this nice restaurant that the absolute worst night was about five years later? Is that what you want?" Corinne was looking at Kelly and it seemed neither one wanted to blink.

They were challenging each other into saying something.

"You win son," said Corinne looking away.

"Never mind, not important. Not AT ALL important. Let's get the hell out of here." Kelly threw his napkin on the table and stood up glancing at Shay.

"The absolute worst night of my life was," started Corinne. The friends listening while knowing they didn't want to hear what was coming next, kind of like looking at a car wreck and not being able to turn away.

"When you walked in on me in bed with your football coach. You happy now, Kelly? Huh? You happy now?" Corinne stood up, pushed Kelly out of the way and ran out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Kelly followed. He had to.

He regretted everything...the dinner, the words, the whole damn visit. Why the visit now? Just stay with the husband of the month and keep out of my life.

Kelly was furious but more at himself than with his mother.

"Mom! Wait up! C'mon!" Kelly was catching up.

Corinne stopped and turned to face her son.

"What? I'm leaving! I can see you're done with me. No second chances with you. Right, Kelly?"

"Just come back. Finish your dinner." Kelly couldn't let her leave like this.

He wanted to hurt her. The way she had hurt him. He had for a long time, for years. He'd never said anything, just hadn't talked to her much. Silent treatment.

"Mom please."

"Now? After what just happened? The conversation was strained before...now it'll be..."

"Then come home with me. We can talk. Please." Kelly couldn't stand to see a woman cry, especially a woman he loved. A woman he loved and hated.

Kelly didn't even say goodbye to his friends. They watched as he led his mom out of the restaurant.

"Holy shit," said Shay. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Dawson just nodded her head.

"He'll be fine, right? I shouldn't go home, right?" Shay was texting Kelly asking him those same questions.

"No, let them talk. Jesus, I thought my family had issues." Dawson glanced at Casey and Boden. Both were shoveling in food.

"Yeah, Kelly said to stay with you."

Kelly didn't say a word in the car. Corinne was silent too. They finally made it back to his place and he knew he had to say something.

"Mom, I'm sorry. Let's just forget I said anything."

"Because that's going to solve everything? Kelly, you are angry. I get it. But you've got to let it go and forgive me. Once and for all."

"Why is it every time someone does something wrong, it's up to everyone else to forgive? How does that work exactly?" Kelly couldn't believe she was saying he had to forgive her. Who the hell was she to say that?

"Kelly, I want us to have a relationship. I want to be a part of your life. You are my only child and I love you so much. I know you don't believe me, but I do." Corinne was crying again.

"Don't cry, please. Don't cry," Kelly could feel tears in his eyes and it just made him angrier, sadder, more frustrated.

"Mom, please." He held her hugging her in tight.

Kelly had to admit it felt good good to be holding her after all those years. He had been such a momma's boy when he was young.

Then all that changed with the betrayal. "Time to be a man," Benny had said matter-of-factly.

Benny and his mom had divorced years earlier when Kelly was eight. Benny's infidelities and his real mistress, his job, had led to the split.

But Corinne was married to a new man, rich, always out of town on business. Kelly was indifferent to him and he felt the same.

But his coach, now that was a different story. He idolized his coach who was more of a dad to him than any male in his life had ever been.

Coach Tate was from Texas and was almost as big as the state. He had played in the NFL and was a bit of a neighborhood celebrity doing sports on a local station.

He coached peewee football in his spare time and had shown an interest in Kelly when they first met. Kelly was nine and a natural athlete, good at just about any sport he tried. When Kelly joined Coach Tate's team, the coach began teaching him everything he knew. Not just about the game, but about life.

"Severide, character is what it's all about. You ain't got that then you got nothin," Coach preached words like character, honesty, integrity.

"No lyin, no cheatin, no stealin." Those words stuck with Kelly long after Coach Tate left his life.

Kelly was determined to not turn out like his parents. He'd never cheated on a woman. Even after the first Renee, when he went through women like a man possessed, he never cheated. They all knew the score...this was a one night proposition.

Coach had benched Kelly for a bad grade in 6th grade.

"You can do so much better. This C ain't you! You gotta go for A's." The disappointment in Coach's face was enough to make Kelly do better next report card.

Benny never made it to a game. Never. Not once. His mom came when she was dating a man who happened to like football. She could show off her son.

Coach Tate was there of course. He was the coach. But he was also at Kelly's school when he won an intramural award for athlete of the season. Kelly felt such pride, truly one of his happiest days. Coach took him for ice cream after and told Kelly he felt like a proud dad.

Kelly remembered the look on Coach's face when he barreled through his mom's bedroom door, home a day early from his dad's. Benny had made plans with his buddies.

Now Kelly knew why the special interest in him. It all became clear. A way to his mom. Simple as that.

Coach Tate had tried to talk to Kelly, telling him it didn't affect their relationship, it had nothing to do with him, it was a mistake.

Kelly wouldn't listen. He never spoke to Coach Tate again and he never picked up a football. Done with both forever.

He had to stay with his mom for six more years. He never had a real conversation with her. He stayed busy throughout high school and the day after graduation he applied for the CFD. Within two weeks, he was completing his 16 weeks of training at the Fire Academy. Another four years and he was in Squad.

"Kelly," Corinne was so tired, tired of the fighting, tired of pleading, just worn out.

"I was a terrible mom. I know that now. I lived my life for ME. I should have been living it for my child...for you." Tears were flowing freely again from both mother and son.

"No, mom..." Kelly began.

"Yes, let me finish. You are nothing like me Kelly. You live your life for everyone else. For your friends, for Leslie, for the life you are saving. I admire you." Corinne cupped Kelly's face in her hands.

"You are going to be a great dad someday, son. You are going to do everything for your kids and they are going to adore you. I am so proud of the man you are."

Kelly couldn't speak. Those words finally broke through all the resentment, the hurt...the years of not letting himself feel anything toward his mom. He held her close and felt he had a mother again for the first time in years.

Shay and Dawson stayed up almost all night. Neither could sleep after the dinner fiasco.

"This was all my fault." Shay was on her third glass of wine.

"What're you talking about?" Dawson asked pouring herself another glass.

"The dinner, Kelly's mom, all of it. I hope he's not too mad. He won't text me back."

"You two are worse than an old married couple!" laughed Dawson.

"That's crazy. I just worry about him. He's been through so much this year. He didn't need this shit I piled on him."

"Now, you're being crazy. You've both been through so much. You're always there for him. He loves you, that's obvious." Dawson downed another glass.

"Well, I love him too. I want the best for him. I wanted to fix his mom problems. It's stupid, but I thought I could."

"It's not stupid. It's what you do. The thing is, or the thing I'm learning is you can't fix someone else's shit." Dawson was really feeling the wine now.

"I want him to be happy...for once." Shay was also feeling the effects.

"Okay. Question for you. You say you want him to be happy. Would you be happy if he fell in love next month, moved out of your apartment, got married, AND had a kid within a year?"

"Whoa. That's making my brain hurt. I think we should go to bed." Shay drained the last of what was in her glass.

"Answer the question first."

"It was like a fifteen part question. I'm tired, girl," Shay yawned.

"It was one question. Would you be happy? If Severide found true love and left you." Dawson looked at her friend sobering up a little waiting for Shay's response.

"Jesus, the way you put it...'left you.' Sounds so ugly like that. Yes, I'd be happy. Of course I would. Yes, for sure."

"Hmmm."

"What does that mean?" Shay asked.

"I just don't see you throwing a baby shower or anything. I think you'd miss him. Remember how you acted when he was leaving for Italy? Wow, you let him have it." Dawson laughed at the memory.

"That's only because I was the last person to know. I was pissed."

"Hmmm." There it was again.

Shay felt like she was defending herself now. Definitely time for bed.

"No more talking. I'm so done. Goodnight, girl." Shay headed off to Dawson's spare room not giving time for any response.

"Hmmm," said Dawson once Shay was out of the room.

Kelly was off the next day and spent it with Corinne. They were gone before Shay came home. She did get a text.

"Hey. Spending day with mom. You were right. Love you. And thanks."

Shay smiled as she got ready for shift. Things were looking up...for the first time in a long time.

When Shay came home from shift, Corinne was cooking a feast. Shay could smell the lasagne as she turned the door knob and she could definitely hear the laughter. What a difference a day could make.

"What's goin on in here," she laughed as she entered the kitchen. She went straight over to Kelly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek, whispering a thank you. His smile was back and it made Shay feel so good. She laughed at his silly grin.

Corinne watched all of this. This girl clearly meant the world to her son.

"Leslie, taste this sauce. What do you think?" Corinne held out a spoon to Shay's mouth.

"Oh my God! Amazing! Let's eat!"

This dinner was so different than the last. Conversation flowed, it was a great night.

"Alright kids. This old woman is saying goodnight. Leslie, if I don't see you in the morning, it's been a pleasure. Keep taking care of my son, okay?" Corinne hugged Shay and kissed her on the forehead.

Kelly hugged his mom. "Love you. We'll leave at 6:30 for your flight. Do you want me to wake you?"

"No, I'll be up. Goodnight, Kelly."

"Go ahead," said Kelly to Shay as soon as his mom headed upstairs.

"Why, what do you mean?" asked Shay wide eyed and not so innocently with a huge smile on her face.

"You were right. I need my mom in my life. I'm glad I listen to you every once in a while," Kelly pulled the blanket off the couch and threw a pillow to one end...his bed for the night.

Kelly turned on the tv and Shay joined him on the couch.

"Go to bed, Shay. You gotta work tomorrow."

"Are you kicking me off your couch? This is a Severide first!" Shay didn't want to leave. She hadn't talked to Kelly all day.

"Spill it! What's the deal? What happened?" Shay was all energy and questions.

"Oh, God. Tonight? Can't it wait till tomorrow?" Kelly had listened to one woman all day who was trying to make up for years of not talking. Now, Shay.

"I think I deserve to know..." Shay protested.

"Fine." Kelly unfolded the whole story. He didn't leave out one detail. He told the entire story with all it's ugliness, disappointment, sadness.

Shay was quiet when Kelly finished. She had tears in her eyes and just hugged her roommate.

"Kelly."

"Sshhh. I can't take one more woman crying in my life. Okay? I'm good. Everything's good."

"I love you Kelly." Shay got up, kissed Kelly on the forehead.

"Love you too."

Kelly watched as Shay headed up the staircase. He felt lucky to have her.

No matter what he did, she would be there. No matter what happened, she would be there. He realized that for the first time in his life, he had someone he could truly count on. Someone who would never leave him. It felt good.


	12. Chapter 12

Kelly dropped his mom off at the airport promising to visit at Christmas. Shay was going to her dad's, so he originally planned on working. She tried to get him to go with her, but he knew her dad wanted time with his favorite girl. Dads and their daughters. Moms and their sons.

Today Shay was on shift and he was off. But he had a date with a boat owner. It had been so long since he worked on a boat, too long. In the hospital or recovering from something for months.

Now, he felt ready to tackle a new job, a new adventure. Kelly always loved the feeling of accomplishment when a job was done. Boat back to better than new, that engine purring, all that horsepower waiting for the water.

Kelly was nervous. He wanted this job, needed it. You never knew with these rich types...some of the nicest men Kelly had met and also some of the meanest SOB's he'd ever met.

He walked down the dock at the 31st Street Harbor. He'd done many jobs here. This was just another one, he told himself.

He saw a tall, thin, gray haired man pacing in front of a real beauty. The beauty was a Ferretti, super sleek, beautiful. She had some years on her, but the yacht had obviously been well maintained.

Kelly let out a low whistle. The older man laughed.

"You must be Kelly," he held out a hand.

Kelly saw something familiar in this man's face. Had he met him before?

"Yes, Kelly Severide. Nice to meet you." Kelly shook his hand directing his attention to the boat.

"Jim Griffith. Hope you can bring her back to life," said the boat owner.

Kelly's attention snapped back to Jim. Looking at the man's face, he slowly remembered where he'd met him before. It was at the movies with Shay.

Shit. This was Cate's husband.

Kelly wanted to get the hell out of there, but Jim wasn't letting him.

"So Kelly, you're a firefighter. Sounds exciting. What's it like?" Jim listened and Kelly found himself liking this man more and more.

Jim talked about his boring job as a college professor, his love of boats that his father passed down to him, his talented son, and then finally his beautiful wife.

Kelly had to make his escape. This was a nice, good man. A man he would be friends with if he took the job. Guilt was setting in.

Kelly had never cheated on a woman, but what was he? Someone who slept with a married woman? Wasn't that a cheater too?

"So, Kelly. Do you think you can help me out with my old girl?"

Kelly almost missed the step from the boat back to the dock and kind of stumbled off.

"You okay?" Jim grabbed Kelly's arm, steadying him.

"Yeah. Just feeling...uh, tired. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can take the job after all." The disappointment in Kelly's face was real. He wanted this job, but no way.

"What's wrong? You seem to know all about her, and you definitely love her as much as I do," Jim laughed knowing something was holding Kelly back.

"I, uh, actually just got out of the hospital and might be pushing it, uh..." Kelly couldn't get the lame words out.

Jesus, just neuter me now, thought Kelly. He obviously had no use for his balls anymore.

He couldn't believe he'd sunk so low that he was claiming to be too weak to do a job. In days of old, he would have taken the job, called Cate and screwed her on the boat that night.

No, he really had to get out of here.

Instead he found himself telling his new buddy about the Voight "incident."

"Sounds like a real prick. I don't know if it helps but I've found that people like that eventually get what's coming to them. And as far as the job, I'm in no rush. You take your time. It'll actually help me out with paying you." Jim could tell Kelly wanted to accept this job and hoped he would.

"Tell you what. I'll sleep on it and give you a call tomorrow," said Kelly finally leaving.

"Fair enough. If you decide it's too much, I understand. I'm glad we met though, the conversation was great. And it's not too often I find someone who appreciates my girl as much as I do."

Kelly coughed and choked out another goodbye.

No, he could not take this job. Definitely not. But why was he considering it?

Cate probably wouldn't even know it was him working on her husband's boat. What are the chances he would mention the guy fixing his boat to his wife?

Apparently, pretty good. Kelly got a text from Cate while he was working on dinner. He had Dawson on the phone. She was walking him through the intricacies of a layered chicken enchilada casserole.

"We need to talk." Yes, he must have talked about the "boat guy." Shit.

"Dawson, I think I got this. Thanks! You're the best. Gotta go."

Kelly dialed Cate's number knowing what he would say. No, he wasn't taking the job. Don't worry. Jim would never find out it was him.

"Kelly! What the hell!" Cate didn't let him get one word in.

"What happened to you? Jim gets home last night and tells me about this amazing man he hopes will fix our boat."

"It's really more than just a boat," interrupted Kelly.

"Shut up. He tells me this guy's a firefighter named Kelly. My mouth falls to the floor, literally. Then he tells me that this fireman, you, just got out of the hospital, that he/you got the crap beat out of you/him, whatever. Jesus, Kelly. You should have called, Leslie could have called. Do you need to see someone?"

"Take a breath, Cate. Yes, I got beat up, but I'm fine. Really, never in danger of dropping dead. I'm fine. No, I don't need to 'talk to someone.' That was a one time thing. My head is good." Kelly sighed deeply and continued.

"I had no idea I was meeting your husband. Shit, I am so sorry. I'm not taking the job. Don't worry about a thing. I'll call him today. Hey, and I'm glad things worked out for you." Kelly finally got to say what he planned.

"Kelly, take it." Cate said slowly.

"What?"

"Take it. Jim said you looked like you needed it. And he really likes you. Kelly, are you sure you're alright? He said you looked like, well, tired." The concern in Cate's voice was evident. She would always care about this fireman. Always.

"Yes. Fine. It was an act so I could bail on the job. Don't worry about me. I like him, but that's the problem. I felt like a scum bag." Kelly looked in his reflection. Yeah, he kinda did look like hell.

"You didn't even know him. It was all on me. If you want the job, take it. You'll never see me. It'll be just you and Jim."

"Is that supposed to tempt me?" laughed Kelly. "Jim's a good lookin guy, but..."

Cate was laughing. She missed their conversations...and a whole lot more. She pushed those memories out of her mind.

"Ugh, I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Dammit Cate! You're always gonna be a complication aren't you?"

"You like complicated," Cate said still laughing.

"Nah, I really don't. Simple guy. I like simple, but I seem to attract crazy. Damn magnet for crazy."

"Think some more on it. I'm hanging up now. Take care, Kelly." Cate had a smile on her face as she hung up. Friends. They had talked like they were friends. She could do friends.

Shay limped into the apartment and felt her mouth start to water immediately.

"God, Kelly! What smells so good? Is my girl here?"

"It is a little somethin I whipped up. It's all me, baby. Dawson's not here. All Severide." Kelly jogged over to Shay and grabbed her, lifting her off the ground a little.

"Ow, ow, ow! My ankle!" Shay called out.

"You're hurt? What the hell happened? Why didn't you call me?" Kelly picked up Shay and gently lowered her on the couch. He put a pillow under her ankle and went to the freezer for an ice pack.

"Nurse Jackie, I'm fine. Seriously, Kel. I am a clumsy girl. I'm running down some stairs behind Dawson, I miss the last step, roll my ankle. End of story. No drama. Oooh, that ice feels good. Thanks."

"I still think I should have been called." Kelly sat next to Shay studying her face.

Her head was stretched back against the couch, eyes closed. She cracked one eye open feeling his stare.

"Yes? Are we going to eat or what?" Shay was starved and whatever was in the oven was calling her name.

"Yes, stay there. We're eating on the couch. You're not moving." Kelly jumped up getting the plates ready.

"I still think I should've been called," said Kelly handing Shay a plate.

"Are you going to be grumpy all night because of it?" she said poking him in the ribs. "Or are we going to enjoy this meal that you cooked? Hey, what happened with the guy you were meeting about the boat?"

"Ugh. Awful. The guy was great, nice... We got along. You know how some are real pricks, not this guy."

"What's the problem?" asked Shay not believing the flavors entering her mouth. God this was good.

"The guy was Jim Griffith. Cate's husband."

"No waaay!" said Shay, her mouth full of food.

"Yeah. Couldn't believe it. Pisses me off too. I wanna work on that boat. I really wanna work on that boat."

"Maybe you still can. What are the chances she will even know you are the one fixing her boat? She probably doesn't even know the boat needs fixing." Shay started to get up for round two of this chicken enchilada concoction.

"Keep your butt on that couch," said Kelly jumping up with Shay's plate. "And she already knows."

"No waaay!" repeated Shay.

Kelly told her about the conversation and then waited for her to react. He needed her to tell him what to do.

"You can't ruin her life Kelly. It seems like her husband has forgiven her and she's probably in a peaceful place right now. You can't do it." Shay was almost done with her second plate.

"Why is it me who's the ass and she comes out clean? How does that work?" Kelly wasn't hearing the words he wanted to.

"Kel, I'm sorry. You know what I mean. She made a mistake too. It's just that she seems to sorta lose her mind around you." Shay knew this wasn't what Kelly wanted, but it was what he needed.

"You're right. I'll text him tonight and tell him no." Kelly got up again to put their dishes in the sink. He grabbed two ibuprofen, a glass of water and a fresh ice pack.

"Now, take these. How does it feel? Let me take a look." Kelly pulled up on Shay's pant leg.

"It doesn't look too swollen. That's good. Let me know when you want to go to bed and I'll carry you up. I can help you change too." Kelly said this last part with a little grin that didn't go unnoticed by Shay.

"Kelly Severide! Are you offering to carry me to my bed AND to rip my clothes off?" Shay was snorting with laughter.

"I am part of squad. And we are specially trained for every situation, and I do mean every. " Kelly was roaring with laughter now too. Shay snorted louder.

"I, I... Can't stop laughing. Movie, feel like a movie..." Shay was trying to get a grip.

Kelly found the perfect DVD and popped it in.

It ran for half a second and Shay was squealing,"The Fast and the Furious Three!"

"Tokyo Drift!" They both said in unison laughing even harder.

This really is the perfect girl, thought Kelly.

Halfway through the movie, Kelly remembered to text Jim.

"Jim, sorry, but I'm still dragging ass. Your boat deserves better. I can help you find someone else. Sorry, Severide."

Jim read the text twice. He had been sure Kelly would say yes. One more card to play, he thought as he texted a reply.

He had been really hoping to spend some quality time with the man who fucked his wife.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks to everyone sticking with the story! A special thanks to those who review and follow. Winding down this story...I figure I've put Kelly through enough - haha. About two more chapters left. Working on a new one about Severide and Renee Royce - the finale threw me for a loop and I felt compelled to write about the pair. **

**Here's lucky chapter thirteen about Jim's sort of revenge...**

* * *

"I understand. Need a favor. Won't take much time. Call if you can."

Jim didn't have to wait long for Kelly to call.

"Hey, Jim. It's Kelly. What's up?"

"Kelly. Sorry you're not gonna be able to help me out with her, but I was hoping you could do me a huge favor." Jim wasn't giving up easily.

"Sure thing. What do you need?" Kelly had wanted to avoid a conversation. That was the beauty of texting.

"I'm thinking of taking her out with the whole family, but I don't want us stranded. I wanna make sure she has one good trip left in her."

How could Kelly refuse? He couldn't let Cate and her family get stuck on a boat, could he? They set a time and Kelly headed out.

Jim, of course, was already there.

"Thanks a lot, Kelly. Let's see if you think this girl can take a trek or not. I'll start her up." Jim seemed to be in a hurry.

Kelly figured it was just being considerate, not wanting to take too much of his time.

They started her up and after a few minutes of checking gauges, closing his eyes to listen, Kelly wasn't sure enough to give an opinion.

"You know we could take her out," suggested Jim.

"Yeah, I think we're gonna have to. Hey, there are worse ways to spend a day," laughed Kelly.

Jim pulled her out but then handed her over to Kelly. He could tell the younger man was longing to take her for a spin.

After an hour, Kelly didn't see anything needing urgent repair. Yes, the engine could use a little maintenance, but the stalling and jerking Jim told him about just wasn't happening.

"I think she'll be fine to take her out with the family. You know the minute I leave she'll start acting up again," Kelly smiled feeling pretty confident in his diagnosis.

"Can't thank you enough for all your help. You've gotta let me pay you. I mean spending all this time with my old girl. I can tell you really love her the way I do."

"Uh, no," Kelly managed to get out. "I couldn't take money for this. It was, uh, nothing."

"But your services can't come cheap," persisted Jim.

It was the way Jim said "services." Kelly was getting that feeling in his gut that this conversation was going to take an ugly turn. Shit, he shouldn't have agreed to this.

"So your services are free," asked Jim looking straight at his adversary.

"What are we talkin about here?" Kelly wasn't one for bullshit, so it was time to put the cards on the table.

Kelly made his way along the foredeck towards Jim. He regretted coming to the boat, but figured he would have some talking to do. Man to man.

"I think you know," started Jim with a rage boiling in him he hadn't felt since Cate first told him about the affair.

Now, seeing this young, brash asshole on his boat. Imagining him with HIS wife. God, he could kill him, he thought.

"I think you got the wrong idea." Kelly was almost to the landing where Jim was when the boat actually hitched pretty violently.

Kelly didn't know if he was more shocked that Jim hadn't lied about the boat or feeling his body fly over the guardrail.

The look on Jim's face showed he wasn't the only one stunned.

Kelly didn't panic. He was kinda made for this type of accident. He hit the cold water and immediately came to the surface. He swam towards the boat waiting for the ring buoy to come at him.

Instead, he heard the engine start up again and watched in disbelief as the yacht pulled away from him.

"You are kidding me!" he yelled more to himself than anyone else. Still no panic in those piercing eyes, just a set determination to get out of this mess.

Stay calm, he told himself as he watched the boat get farther away. He looked at the sun to get his bearings and quickly decided to head back to the pier. It would take too long to get back, but it was his only shot.

Jim couldn't believe what he was doing. His hands were shaking, sweating. Was this murder? Shit, turn the boat back, he thought. This was not him.

Damn, Lake Michigan was cold, thought Kelly as he began swimming like he was in a race. He knew it wouldn't be the hypothermia that got him. No, drowning would happen before that as his body shut down from the cold.

Jim turned the boat around and saw Kelly swimming like his life depended on it. He eased the boat closer and was almost on top of the lieutenant.

Kelly thought the old bastard was going to run him over with the yacht now. Yes, a good way to take out your frustrations. He dove down hoping the boat would miss him.

Jim threw the life saving ring in the water where Kelly had just been.

"Kelly, grab it! Where are you?" Jim was screaming. Jesus, what the hell had he done? This must be what temporary insanity felt like.

Kelly came up for air and saw the ring right next to him. A trick.

"No way! I'm not stupid!" yelled Kelly kind of contradicting his words by not grabbing the lifesaver in front of him.

"Just grab the damn thing and let me pull you in! I'm not going to do anything!"

Kelly kept swimming away from the boat. He wasn't even sure if he was going in the right direction. Damn, Lake Michigan was cold, he thought again, so cold.

The ring was hauled back to the yacht and this time Jim sent it directly at Kelly's head.

"Grab it NOW!"

Kelly reached out and grabbed the ring. He didn't have a choice. He could feel his body actually shaking in the water. That wasn't good. His legs were shaking and cramping at the same time.

Jim pulled the ring closer to the boat and still couldn't wrap his brain around what he just did. Or almost did.

He got Kelly to the side boarding ladder and watched as Kelly tried to grab a hold. It wasn't happening.

It was all Kelly could do to wrap his arms around a bottom rung and hang on. He tried to will his legs to take a step up but they wouldn't listen. They were too busy shaking. He looked at them not quite believing it was his body reacting this way.

"Hang on. I'm coming down to help you." Jim made his way down the ladder. He wished he had a couple of men Kelly's age to help him get this man up.

Jim grabbed one of Kelly's arms and pulled him up as hard as he could. It took a long while, but Jim got Kelly on deck. Both men sprawled out, Jim exhausted and thanking God he was still in decent shape.

Kelly was in a ball, a shaking ball, knowing he had to get his clothes off right away, but couldn't make one move to to do it.

He thought of Shay. She is gonna laugh her ass off when I tell her I thought of her right after thinking about getting naked. Well, after she lays into me for getting on this damn boat in the first place.

Jim looked at the man lying next to him and knew all that shaking couldn't be good. He ran down below and got four towels.

"Dry off with these." Jim threw the towels on Kelly waiting for him to dry off. Didn't happen.

Kelly tried to grab one and dry off, but his body was not cooperating.

"What do I do?" asked Jim getting more worried with each of Kelly's involuntary motions.

"Sh-sh-irt off," Kelly managed to get out.

Jim pulled off Kelly's t-shirt and eyeballed his pants. He went for the towel instead and roughly dried his chest, shoulders, stomach.

Jim felt guiltier when he saw the scars on Kelly's chest. This guy had made it through whatever caused all that and now he had almost drowned him.

No way was this guy taking off my pants thought Kelly. He could at least grasp the towel now.

He unbuttoned his own pants and squirmed out of them. It must have been a sight to see. I think that damn bastard is enjoying this.

He tried drying his legs but was still shaking too much. Jim reluctantly grabbed the towel again and worked on Kelly's legs. This kid better not die after all this.

Jim ran below again and brought back some dry clothes, sweats, long sleeve shirt, and a sweater.

Kelly wanted to take off his boxers, but decided to keep that last shred of dignity.

Jim got the sweats pulled on Kelly and eased him up to sitting. He got the shirt over Kelly's head wondering when the shaking would stop.

"Do you want me to get you downstairs? You can get in the bed. You're going to be okay, right?" Jim wanted to hear that everything was going to be fine.

"No, st-st-stayin right here." The thought of being in this guy's bed, the one he probably shared with Cate... no, thank you very much.

"We're almost back." Jim paused a long time. "I am sorry about this. I don't know what I was thinking... I wasn't thinking."

Kelly shook his head. "N-nothing happened. I fell o-over. You fished m-me out." As far as Kelly was concerned that was all anyone needed to hear. He had slept with his wife, Jim almost killed him for it...kind of even, thought Kelly.

Jim nodded his head. The men didn't speak anymore. Jim brought the boat back in the pier and Kelly just sat on the deck trying to think warm thoughts.

When the yacht was docked, Kelly slowly got up, a little surprised his legs were cooperating now.

"Can I call someone?" asked Jim knowing Kelly wasn't driving anywhere. He got out his phone figuring Kelly's was a little waterlogged at the moment.

Kelly reached for it hoping his fingers would cooperate. He fumbled through and finally pushed the right combination of numbers.

"Kelly, where the hell are you?" Shay was mad of course.

"31st Street Harbor. Pick me up?" Kelly tried to sound as casual as ever.

"What the hell, Kel! You went to work on that boat didn't you?"

"Jesus, I should have called Casey. Dammit Shay, just pick me up."

"Okay."

Well, hell...miracles never ceased thought Kelly.

It was nearly dark when Shay arrived. Jim had left a long time ago, not a word, just walked off the boat. Kelly was still sitting on the deck in the same spot. He'd put the sweater on and found a blanket to cover up with.

"Kelly, you here?" whispered Shay hoping this was the right one.

"Yes. Why are we whispering?" Kelly could see the outline of his best friend's face and smiled to himself. Definitely a good sight.

"What are you doing down there?" Shay was still whispering.

"Come here." Kelly held open the blanket for Shay to get in. Her warmth felt good, really good.

Shay knew her friend needed her close. That was how it always was with them. She settled in against his chest and rubbed his arms.

"What happened?" Shay could only let the silence last for so long.

"I did NOT take the job. Jim called and wanted me to take a quick look, see if the boat could make a trip. We took her out and things went south."

"Is south your way of telling me you two got into it over Cate?"

"Not exactly. I went overboard, Jim fished me out. I'm good." Kelly kept that casual tone.

Shay was having none of it.

"What? If you were good, you wouldn't have called me to pick you up, right?"

"Can we please go home?" Kelly was tired and just wanted to sleep the next few days. Just a boring two days. Was that too much to ask?

Shay helped Kelly up wondering what really went down. She knew she'd get it out of him, eventually. She always did.

"Yes, but you're getting checked out tomorrow. How long were you in the water?"

"Not long. I promise."

Kelly settled in the passenger's side and sighed contently when Shay turned on the heater. Yes, this girl always knew what he needed.

He drifted off as soon as the car hit the highway. Shay was sweating at that point but left the heater on. Kelly looked like shit and she had a pretty good idea hypothermia played some part in that. She reached over and held his left hand as she drove home.

The next day Kelly got his wish and did absolutely nothing. He stayed in sweats and slept most of the day away, warm and in his bed.

Shay checked on him, fussing over his pillows, adding a blanket, trying to get him to eat.

"I just wanna sleep. I'm not hungry."

Shay gave him a thorough once over the night they got home. Then again the next morning.

Dawson stopped by around noon to get an update and drop off some delicious smelling caldo. Soup made everyone feel better...proven fact, she informed Shay.

"How's your guy feeling? Do you want me to check him out?"

"Sleeping all day. He needs it. I think he was in the water a hell of a lot longer than he's letting on."

"You two should just do it and get it over with." Dawson just let the words roll out of her mouth, no thinking.

"What are you talking about? I'm worried about my best friend. Is that okay with you?" Shay's face had that wide eyed innocent look Dawson was not falling for.

"Yes, but I have a lot of friends I don't spend every waking moment thinking about. You two are more like an old married couple."

"Kelly's been through hell. He is the one person I can tell everything to. He feels the same. I worry about him, so sue me." Shay had to admit she did spend most of her day with Kelly, thinking about Kelly, talking to Kelly.

"I don't know. I just picture you two really old, sitting on some porch, arguing about something," laughed Dawson.

"Us on a porch? Now I know you're high!"

"Okay no porch, but still together."

"Is that so bad?" asked Shay. She could kinda picture that too.

"Uh, I guess not. I just thought you wanted more. You know, kids, someone you are in love with, that you can have sex with. In case you've forgotten, that can be a good thing." Dawson wasn't ready to drop the topic this time.

"Yeah, I do know. But in case you've forgotten I'm not doin so hot in the relationship department. Clarice..."

"Yes, she broke your heart, over and over. That doesn't mean you give up," said Dawson softening her tone.

"I'm not giving up. I just haven't found anyone. No one I want to date."

"You haven't put yourself out there. You live like a nun, or a married lady. I'm just being honest because I love you. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy. To be honest, Kelly and I have something good. It's better than any other relationship I've ever had. I know he feels the same." Shay hadn't said those words to Dawson before. They were true.

"Okay, okay. Whatever weird thing you got going on with Severide is your deal. I only pry because I care." Dawson gave Shay a quick squeeze of the arm.

"Will you take some food up to him? He's sick of me trying to force feed him." Shay knew Dawson cared about Kelly. Partly because he was Shay's best friend and partly because she'd gotten to know him when Shay suffered her head injury.

Yes, Dawson said he'd grown on her like a mold. Kelly didn't appreciate the humor much when Shay had laughed till she snorted relaying the message.

"If he bites my head off, I'm holding you personally responsible," said Dawson as she put a bowl of caldo on a tray.

Kelly's door was cracked, so she slowly pushed it open. He was asleep, covers pushed half off the bed, one arm slung above his head, mouth slightly open. Yes, this was a deep sleep.

She put the tray on his dresser and walked over to cover him up. As she pulled the sheet up to his chest, he nearly jumped out of his skin, scaring both of them.

"Shit, Severide! You trying to give me a heart attack?" yelled Dawson jumping back.

"Is it too much to ask to just sleep? That's all I want. Sleep. No food, no talkin, just sleep." Kelly couldn't count the number of times Shay had woken him up. Now, she had her friend in on it?

"Don't be an ass. I made you some caldo...it's soup and you'll like it." Dawson grabbed the tray and waited for Kelly to prop a pillow to sit up.

She put the tray in front of Kelly and watched as he tasted it, satisfaction all over her face.

"Mmmm, I'm an ass. This is good, no great."

"Ha, ha. Shay's going to be happy. Thanks. Hey, how bad did it get out there?"

Kelly looked up from his bowl.

"Bad," he said, mouth full. He smiled at her with that devilish grin they all knew so well.

"Make her go on shift tomorrow, okay? I can't take another day of this. Waking me, poking me." Kelly was finishing the last few bites in his bowl.

"I'll try, but, I swear you two are worse than a married couple. I told Shay you should just do it already and get it over with."

Kelly choked on the water he was drinking and coughed and sputtered so much it brought Shay running in his room.

She rushed to his side and pulled him more upright. She rubbed his back as he finally stopped coughing.

Kelly didn't want to look up. He was afraid to. He met Dawson's knowing gaze and saw that she was the one with a devilish grin this time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Kind of sad that this is the last chapter of my second fanfic, but the story has run its course. Thank you to all who have reviewed, so rewarding to get feedback! Sorry if I should have messaged all those who reviewed. I'm new to this and wasn't sure if I was supposed to do that. **

**I'm working on my next story and so excited where it's going. It picks up where the season ends, with Renee pregnant on Kelly's doorstep. It's my attempt to sort of "novelize" next season- all from Kelly's perspective. Love Severide! **

**Enjoy this last chapter! I hope it satisfies - haha.**

* * *

Alone at last. Kelly got his wish and Shay left him for work bright and early.

Be careful what you wish for.

The sleep session the previous day was what Kelly needed, but now he felt fine, good...bored.

He poured himself some cereal and heard, _just do it already and get it over with._

He turned on the TV and sat down with his overflowing bowl. Sportscenter on but all he could hear was Dawson's words, _just do it already._

"Jesus," Kelly said loudly to himself. It only made him more aware that he was alone. All day.

Shower done. Nothing but his own thoughts to contend to. _Just do it._

"Going to the gym," Kelly said again to no one but himself.

He worked out like a dog, probably overdid it. What the hell. Gotta get my mind right, he thought.

Another shower. Only four more hours till she's home.

Warm up some caldo, mmm even better than last night if that's possible.

Kelly's brain was working overtime, not something he was comfortable with. Reflection, no, not his thing. He kept going back to Dawson's words and to Cate's assignment...a reflection on Shay.

He and his roommate had sort of talked _around_ the subject. He admitted he was jealous, she did the same. Hell, he'd even confessed he wished they could be more, with Shay just saying she didn't know what to say to that.

They brushed off anymore sharing crap, but Kelly had definitely been left feeling like he got the short end of the proverbial stick.

He'd admitted he wished they could be more and Shay basically had no response.

Shay texted to say they were all going to Molly's. She'd be home in a few hours.

Kelly changed into jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed his keys, and headed out. A couple of mind-numbing beers, just what he needed, maybe more than a few beers were in order.

As soon as he walked into Molly's, he spotted Shay at the other end of the bar laughing with her partner in crime, Dawson.

He couldn't help but smile as he walked over to the pair. He kissed Shay on the top of the head.

"I missed you today," he admitted, his smile growing broader.

"Ha! Did you hear that?" Shay turned to Dawson.

"Yeah, just get a room you two." Dawson was three beers in and apparently on the same wavelength as last night.

"I'm outta here if you start with that again," said Kelly signaling Otis that he needed a beer and fast.

"Severide, do you need to go on permanent disability? What the hell happened this time?" Chief Boden slapped Kelly roughly on the back only half joking.

Kelly turned to Shay with a look that said it all...why the hell did you open your mouth? And to the chief?

"Doin great, Chief. Just took a little swim," Kelly glanced at Shay willing her to keep her mouth shut.

"Yeah, right," laughed Boden holding up four fingers to Otis.

Four tequila shots were deposited in front of him. Kelly, Shay, Dawson and Boden threw back their glasses. Turned out to be just the beginning. Dawson looked at Otis and he had four more lined up in front of the group.

"Time for me to get out of here before you start thinking we're friends," Boden slurred with a huge smile on his face.

Hermann made his way out front and had a cab waiting as the chief carefully made his way down the stairs leading to the sidewalk. Shay had one of his arms in hers and planted a big, juicy kiss on his cheek.

"You know you love us!" she shouted as the cab door closed.

Chief chuckled to himself as the blonde grew farther and farther away.

Shay discovered that Kelly and Dawson had done another shot while she was escorting their boss to the cab. Really?

They were also engrossed in some serious conversation.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm tryin to say!" Dawson was speaking about three levels too loud, but Kelly was listening like she held the key to the universe's mysteries.

"Exactly!" Kelly agreed.

"Exactly!" shouted Shay ready to join in.

Kelly and Dawson looked at each other for a second. Then they erupted into laughter. The kind of laughter where you think someone's going to snort or pass out from lack of oxygen.

"I'm not enjoying this. At all," Shay pouted.

Kelly hugged her but was still laughing so hard she felt herself shake the harder he hugged.

"You just, you just..." gasped Dawson.

"You..." Dawson's laughter was re-igniting, and she couldn't get the words out.

"You just agreed that you and Severide SHOULD just get a room!" That started a whole new round of laughter.

Another two hours went by before Hermann called it a night and kicked his friends out so that he and Otis could clean up.

Cabs were in order, cars all left at Molly's.

Kelly and Shay sort of helped each other into their apartment still laughing, still having fun, oblivious to the pain they would be feeling the next day.

"You tired? asked Kelly full of energy.

"No. You?" Shay felt energized. God, it's been a hell of a long time since we've had this much fun, she thought.

"Let's watch a movie, or two, or three," laughed Kelly making a move to the DVDs. "This was a great night."

"Oooh, there's ice cream in the freezer," Shay ran to the kitchen grabbing two spoons and the gallon of mint chocolate chip.

Kelly was plopped on the couch opening a DVD case when Shay shoved a spoon of ice cream towards his mouth.

"Mmm, so good," he said as he fumbled with the case. He put in the DVD and waited for Shay's expression.

"Death Race! Love it! Jason Statham is hot!" Shay fed Kelly another bite.

"Really?" asked Kelly mouth full of ice cream.

"You know I love it! And I can appreciate a good looking man. Can't I?" Shay gave herself a spoonful.

"Can't you tell a guy is good looking even though you're not attracted to one?" asked Shay before putting another bite in her mouth.

"Uh, no," said Kelly looking dumbfounded.

Shay burst into a new round of laughing just as she tried to give Kelly another big bite of ice cream.

Plop. The spoonful landed right on Kelly's lap.

Shay stopped laughing. They both looked at the melting blob, looked at each other, then began laughing again.

Shay tried to scoop up the mess but only made matters worse.

"Stop, stop, it's okay. I'm going to change," Kelly laughed not wanting his lap stroked anymore with Shay trying to wipe up the fallen scoop.

Kelly tried to run up the stairs, but barely made it up two when he fell face first. Tequila and stairs not a good combination.

Shay heard the thud and came running, well, sort of running. Tequila and running weren't a good pair either.

"Kelly, you okay?" Shay started giggling. What was so funny about seeing her roommate sprawled out on the steps, she thought.

She helped him to turn over and then all laughing gone when she saw his bloody nose.

"Kelly! Stay here." Shay headed to the kitchen for a towel.

"I'm fine. Nose is barely bleeding. Ice cream is fully melted...on my crotch." Kelly felt good. You can't underestimate the healing powers of tequila, he thought.

Shay gently wiped the blood away from Kelly's nose. She held his face with one hand and worked the towel with the other. She smiled at him when all the blood was gone and let her left hand linger on his cheek.

Man, Jason Statham's got nothing on this man, she thought. Shay had to admit that she did like it that Kelly was so damn good looking. She felt kind of proud when they were out, his arm wrapped around her, the admiring glances of women coming their way.

Kelly smiled back with another quizzical look on his face. Pretty, but clueless sometimes, thought Shay. She laughed a little and pulled her hand away

Kelly would later blame the tequila, but they both knew it was something more. Something he'd wanted for a long time. Needed.

He reached over, grabbed Shay's shoulders and as they both pulled up, he kissed Shay. Not on the forehead, not the cheek. No. Full on the lips. His slightly open with tongue probing to where he'd only imagined.

He would later lie, saying she tasted like mint chocolate chip, but really tequila on tequila was the flavor of the moment.

Shay didn't pull away, surprising even herself. Instead, she drew in closer. She hadn't kissed a boy since high school when she was still trying to figure out who she was. This was no boy. She felt a heat go through her, one she hadn't felt since, when? Clarice.

Shay grabbed Kelly's hand and slowly led him to her room. To say that Kelly was in a stupor would be an understatement. More like in a walking coma.

They ended up taking Dawson's advice and got a room, or at least picked a room.

Kelly came out of his fog and got to work, the most enjoyable work of his life. He picked up Shay only long enough to lay her softly on the bed. He kissed her lips first then slowly trailed to her neck. So soft, were his lips even touching her?

He wanted to go further down, but he needed to wait for her to make a move to take off her top. He didn't have to wait long. Shay threw off her blouse and tugged at Kelly's. He kissed the tops of her breasts and ventured further down.

Shay yanked at the sheet with a shudder while Kelly continued his journey even lower. His mouth was bringing Shay to a level of pleasure she hadn't felt for a long, long time. Ever?

She spasmed long and hard and let out a low moan. Kelly poked his head through the sheet looking expectantly at his best friend.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you could do that?" Shay's eyes were closed while a huge smile spread across her face.

Kelly just laughed, relieved that Shay had responded. Had enjoyed herself. Truthfully, that she had reacted the way the other women he'd been with had loved what he did.

Now, what to do next? He didn't have to think too long because Shay made the next move.

She rolled on top of him and let herself go. She kissed his mouth and also worked her way down, but not as far as Kelly had gone. She didn't really know what to do with anything going on below the waist.

She didn't have to do anything else. Her lips and tongue on his hip bones sent him near the ledge...time to jump.

"Kelly, what do I do next?" Shay felt ridiculous breaking the moment with words, but she didn't know what was expected.

"Are you sure? Completely sure? Because if not, I'm okay with what..." Kelly hoped she wanted more.

"Yes."

"No, I mean one hundred percent sure." Kelly didn't want his desires to force Shay into something she would regret.

"Yes, Kelly."

The anticipation, the excitement, the nervousness made Shay tremble as Kelly entered her for the first time.

"Are you okay?" Kelly whispered.

"Yes," she whispered back.

His rhythmic motions surprised her completely. She was loving it, not just okay with it, but truly enthralled with the build up and heat coming from the two of them, their bodies intertwined.

Kelly's hand was tangled in her hair pulling lightly sending Shay into a tortuous longing for a release. She caught her breath and couldn't let it out until her back arched, Kelly holding her in place for a few seconds. Feeling like the tension in her stomach was finally set free, Shay took a deep breath exhaling in another low moan.

So good, so good, thought Kelly not believing what just happened. He was sure he would be waking from a dream soon.

"Why have you never mentioned that you could do all that?" laughed Shay rolling over, making sure there wouldn't be any awkwardness.

Kelly laughed a little not sure what to say. He was both the happiest he'd ever been, ever, and the most terrified.

Jesus, what did they just do? He was so happy and so sad. He couldn't help but feel that he just ruined everything they had. Every relationship he had ended badly. Without fail. The booze had worn off, so there would be no blaming the tequila.

"Hey, what's wrong? No sad looks. Don't tell me you regret this." Shay was afraid to ask but had to know.

"No. Best night ever. In my whole life." Kelly was honest to Shay, as always.

"What then? Just say it." Shay was dreading Kelly's response. So afraid he would say it was a mistake. It was no good. Wrong.

"I'm worried I'm gonna fuck up everything we have. I'm gonna ruin the best thing I've ever had. I've just ruined US." Kelly ran his hands through his hair making Shay want to embark on round two.

Focus, she thought.

"The way I'm looking at it is that the best thing either of us has just got better." Shay shrugged her shoulders.

"Let's not talk about it tonight. Let's deal with it tomorrow," suggested Kelly wanting to avoid the conversation where Shay tells him he isn't enough, he'll never be enough.

"No way. You gotta get that look off your face, like someone died."

Yeah, like our relationship, thought Kelly.

"I am happy. You make me happy. This was not a mistake." Shay was growing concerned. She didn't like the look on Kelly's face.

"I think you'll see it differently in the morning. You'll roll over, look at me, and think what the hell."

"You're right." Shay began. "I'll think what the hell took us so long to get a room." Shay was laughing again, and Kelly had to admit, she looked happy.

Kelly buried his head into Shay's stomach wishing they could lay there forever, never move, just feeling this way. Impossible, he thought, nothing ever stays the same.

Shay stroked his hair, the back of his neck, rubbing his shoulders, feeling the tension in those muscles.

"Shay, you've never been with a guy. You've never wanted to be with one. I'm worried." Kelly looked up at Shay's face hating to ruin their wonderful night.

"Kelly, get this through your thick skull. I love you. You love me. We'll be fine."

"I don't see how you can suddenly change who you are." Here I go again, messing up everything.

"Do you love me?" Shay asked.

"What?"

"Just answer. Do you love me?" asked Shay again.

"You know I do."

"Kelly, that's all we need. How can I put it?" Shay was struggling to make Kelly understand, to be okay with all this, to trust that this was what she wanted.

"People fall in love with people not a gender. I am in love with you, the person. I am in love with you, Kelly. I feel like this is right."

"This feels so right to me too, but it's part of who I am. I've always loved women..."

"Sshhh." Shay knew there was nothing she could say tonight to convince Kelly that she wasn't going to run, to leave. She tried to convince him in another way. She kissed him slowly across his chest following his scars, trying to erase them with each kiss.

"I just think that in the morning you're gonna feel..." Kelly started again.

Shay shut him up with round two.

* * *

Shay awoke to the feeling of the sun in her face and the warmth of the body next to her. She could definitely get used to this, she thought, a small smile spread across her face.

She opened her eyes and found Kelly staring at her, his beautiful blue eyes looking deep into hers.

Before he could say a word, before he could ask one question, Shay spoke.

"I feel the same."

Round three had begun.


End file.
